


The Wrong Drawer

by thatsoulforyouisinme



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, Crossdressing, M/M, Older Fic, RPF, Romance, like I think maybe from 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:17:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsoulforyouisinme/pseuds/thatsoulforyouisinme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Darren have become good friends, so when Darren asks to borrow a clean shirt, Chris doesn't think twice before pointing him to the drawer where he keeps his t-shirts.Except it's the wrong drawer that Darren opens and instead of a t-shirt, Darren finds Chris' deepest...but sexiest secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a repost of this fic, which was on ff.net. Ff.net has gotten all annoying with the rule enforcing, so, here we are. :) 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter : Crossdressing, frottage, blowjobs

"Aw man!" Darren complained, stretching the front of his t-shirt out and looking at the cupcake batter splattered across the bottom half. "I'm so clumsy."

Chris appeared at Darren's side with a damp towel instantly, wiping frantically at the mess. "Damn. I don't think it's coming out! I'm sorry. "

Darren shrugged. Then he grinned. "That's what she said."

Chris huffed. "I don't know if I'm going to let you borrow one of my shirts now."

"Pleaseeeee?" Darren begged, blinking stupidly up at him.

Chris kind of hates his heart for fluttering. "Fine. But only because you beg so prettily. I'll get the cupcakes in the oven while you change." Chris waved a hand toward his bedroom. "Second drawer from the bottom."

He turned back to the counter and smiled to himself as he added batter to the cupcake pan. He was on the third one when he realized his error.

"Darren! Wait! It's the second drawer from the top!" he yelled, racing down the hallway and yanking the door wide open.

He was too late. Darren was holding a pair of lacy black panties and looked a little confused.

F

U

C

K

"I…I can explain. It's uhm…it's not what it looks like!" Chris screeched.

Darren put the panties back in the drawer and cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have a girlfriend we don't know about, do you?"

"I'm gay, remember?"

Darren's lips twitched. "Yeah. So…that doesn't really help me figure out why you have a drawer full of lingerie."

"It's…it's really none of your business," Chris snapped.

Way to be completely suspicious, Colfer.

Darren put his hands up in surrender. "You're right. Consider it dropped."

An awkward silence wrapped itself around them.

"So…"

"God, this is so awkward," Chris mumbled, eyes glued to the floor.

"Should I…you know, go, or something?"

Chris wanted to say yes. More than anything, he wanted to say yes, and then they'd never speak of this again and everything would be lovely.

But then again, Darren was kind of one of Chris's best friends. Maybe…maybe he could just tell him. Darren was a pretty accepting guy…maybe he wouldn't freak out too much. Maybe. The uncertainty weighed on him, and Chris felt like his insides were boiling and freezing and melting and rigid all at the same time. He took a deep breath.

"No. Don't go. I'm not mad at you. I'm just…scared," he admitted.

"Of what? We're friends—you know you can tell me anything."

Chris balled up his fists and placed them over his eyes pressing hard to keep the tears inside. His body hit the bed with a loud thump as he sat down hard. "Darren, you can't tell anyone about this. You just can't, okay? I know you're going to think I'm a total freak, but…that stuff is mine."

He felt the bed dip and a warm presence as Darren sat down next to him. "What do you mean?"

Chris couldn't bring himself to look at Darren as he confessed his best kept secret. "Sometimes…sometimes I wear women's clothing. I…I have a lot of it. More than just underwear."

Chris dared to chance a peek at Darren, whose eyes were wide with…what? Realization? Shock? Disgust? Chris wasn't certain.

All he knew was that Darren wasn't saying anything. The silence was slowly killing him as he began to assume the panicked. The tears he'd been holding back were leaking as he felt his heart cracking into a thousand tiny pieces. "Please, please don't tell anyone." He repeated the words over and over again—perhaps this is what it felt like to be heartbroken, or insane, or something. Chris knew he never wanted to feel whatever he was feeling in this instant ever again.

"Dude, chill the fuck out," Darren said quickly, shaking Chris by the shoulders to snap him out of it. "I'm not…I don't think you're weird, okay? And I won't tell anyone. I swear. I'm just, you know,processing."

The cracking halted suddenly. "You're not…disgusted? It's pretty fucking weird."

Darren shook his head. "I wasn't expecting it, but I don't think you're weird at all. In fact…I actually kind of…well, I'm intrigued." His cheeks were suffused with the warm red glow of…embarrassment? But what could Darren have to be embarrassed about? This was Chris's moment of shame.

"What do you want to know?" he asked shakily.

Darren squeezed his hands together and let out a long breath. "How did it start?"

"I had this assignment for English class once. We were reading Romeo and Juliet, and we each had to recite part of the play for a grade. You got bonus points for creative delivery. As I'm sure you know, it was once traditional for female roles to be played by young men, so when it was my turn, I went all out and showed up in a dress and a wig."

There was more, but Chris was kind of hoping Darren would just get it, that he wouldn't have to spell out all the pathetic details.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Chris, but…I've painted my nails a million times and worn plenty of dresses, but I don't have a drawer full of sexy lingerie." Neither of them missed the way that Darren's voice caught on the word 'sexy', like it half wasn't meant to be spoken.

Chris pushed that from his mind and paused, trying to find the right way to say it, to make him sound less pitiable. "I just felt…really, really beautiful," he whispered. "And the things they make Kurt wear don't help me. I feel the most beautiful when I'm him. "It's crazy, isn't it?"

"It's not."

"You're only saying that because—"

Darren's hand on his knee stopped him. "Anything I say…is because I want to say it. I wouldn't lie to you."

Chris swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "Okay" Darren was looking at him so intently and Chris couldn't take it anymore. "Please don't look at me like that."

"Why not?" Darren murmured, moving closer to him. "You're beautiful."

"Don't say that if you don't mean it." He jerked away from Darren's touch, so gentle it almost hurt.

"Chris. Just…look at me, okay?"

Chris kept his eyes firmly on the floor. Darren gently touched his face and turned it towards his.

"I do think you're beautiful. Any way that you are. I don't think you're weird. If you're weird for doing it, then I'm weird for wanting it. We can be weird together." He smiled, even though his voice was shaking, even though his hands on Chris's face were trembling.

Chris let the warm glow of acceptance wash over him. He closed his eyes, and as he replayed the words in his head over and over again, he realized just why Darren had been blushing earlier. "Weird for wanting it?"

Darren's hands slipped down to Chris's shoulders. "I find the idea of you…wearing those things really, really hot."

All the air rushed out of his lungs. He had never in a million years thought something like this might happen. Sure, he figured someone here and there might accept what he did, but that someone normal and sane like Darren would want it? It was too much to take in. It was too much.

"Did I say too much?" Darren asked.

"No. I just never thought…" Chris trailed off.

"Well, you thought wrong." And then Darren leaned in, and Chris angled his head and closed his eyes and felt warm dry lips against his.

It was a chaste kiss by all standards, but it did decidedly unchaste things to both of them.

"God," Darren breathed against his lips. "I didn't think it'd be like this."

Chris looked down at him through his eyelashes. "We've kissed about a million times on set, Darren. You know what it's like to kiss me. Are you interested in kissing me now because of the clothes? Is this just about a kink for you?"

"Christ no. Every time we kiss on set, I have to try so hard not to just kiss you. It's been like that since the beginning."

Chris's eyes snapped open. "That long?"

"That long," Darren confirmed. "The past few months have been killing me. When I kissed you in Dublin…it wasn't just about making you break character. I wanted the world see you and me for just a moment, I wanted them to see Chris and Darren having a moment, and I'm such a coward that I could only do it as Kurt and Blaine."

It was everything Chris could ever want to hear. "Kiss me."

He did.

"Again."

Darren kissed Chris over and over again, until their lips were swollen and their bodies aching for each other. Somehow they had ended up lying on the bed, Chris half on top of Darren.

"Chris, I really, really want you, but I don't think we should do anything too serious tonight ."

Chris wanted to protest, but he knew Darren was right. However there was the fact that they were both hard and on the edge of orgasm.

"Okay, fine, you're right. But I'm about to come in my pants. Seriously. Can we just…" Chris gave an experimental thrust against Darren, and the friction, even between two pairs of underwear and jeans, was magnificent.

"I don't think I could say no if I wanted to," Darren admitted, gently undulating his hips in time with Chris's increasingly desperate thrusts.

"Look at me," Darren whispers hotly against Chris's lips. Their eyes meet, and really, Darren has never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. Chris's eyes are clouded with desire, darker than Darren has ever seen them, like sapphires. Darren loves everything about this moment. It's something about the way Chris bites his lip, the way Darren can feel his body tensing and trembling, struggling towards release.

"So fucking beautiful," he whispers.

When Chris's nails dig into his shoulders and he breathes a shaky note into Darren's mouth as he comes, Darren can't help but follow him over the edge and down into delicious darkness.

* * *

 

Chris rolls over, moaning discontentedly as he wonders why he feels so sticky and hot and uncomfortable. And for fuck's sake, why is he still in his clothes from last night? Did he get drunk or something? Then with a jolt he realizes that something is moving in the bed with him, he turns to face it and the overly bright morning sun is lighting up Darren's face and he remembers it all in a rush and holy shit wow that happened.

His movement, however slight, must have woken Darren up, because his eyes are fluttering open, and his lips curve into a smile when he sees Chris staring down at him.

"Whutimizzit?" he mumbles.

Chris isn't certain what he's just been asked, but he thinks he knows what Darren meant to say. He turns towards the bedside table and checks the clock.

"7:17," he replies, eyes still a little gritty as he rubs at them.

"Kay," Darren says, yawning and burrowing deeper into Chris's pillow.

When his brain catches up with what he's just said, Chris sits up suddenly, and is half way out of bed as he half shouts," Darren! It's 7:17 . Seven. Fucking. Seventeen. Eighteen now. Our call time is _eight!._ "

They both scramble to get ready, and somehow both of them manage to get some semblance of a shower but no breakfast and they arrive on set only a few minutes after eight. They nod at one another, and head their separate ways to get made up and dressed quickly, running lines in their heads.

When Chris sees Darren during their lunch break, he freezes and stops mid conversation with Ashley. She turns around, wondering what's caught Chris's attention. When she lays eyes on Darren, she grins, turns back to Chris, says something that makes him blush and walks away. Darren isn't sure, but…did she wink at him as he passed by?

"Hi," Darren says, taking her place easily.

"Hey." It sounds so forced it breaks Darren's heart.

"Chris, you don't have to do that. It doesn't have to be weird between us. I meant what I said when I told you I would keep your secret." Darren thrusts his hands in his pockets, looking a little unsure.

Chris relaxes a little. He glances around and says in a low voice, "I know. But…what was last night? A one time thing, or—" His lips snap shut as he takes notice of someone else over Darren's shoulder. "Let's talk about this later. You're going to need a ride anyway—your car is still at my place." He glues his eyes to the floor.

Everyone had been giving them hell for showing up at the same time in the same car and having obviously just rolled out of bed. Everyone had also drawn the conclusion that they rolled out of the same bed, and the funny thing was that they had no idea just how right they were. They said they went out and got wasted the night before, but it's a damn good thing they're both actors, or they'd be completely and utterly fucked.

Darren nods. "Sure. See ya." He ignores Ashley's unmistakably smug and knowing grin as he passes by her again and heads off to the recording studio. Nikki tells him he seems a little distracted. He just gives her a small, sad smile , shrugs and pushes thoughts of blazing blue eyes and lacy panties to the back of his mind.

* * *

 

"So…just what happened last night?" Chris asks as soon as Darren's flopped down on his couch.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Darren asks bemusedly as he settles into the soft buttery leather. He takes a deep breath, and decides that he might as well be honest. He owes it to Chris after what he found out last night. "Well, you told me something about you, we made out, we both came in our pants and it was probably the hottest thing I've done in my whole life."

Chris blushed slightly. "Yeah. It was pretty amazing. Back to what I was saying this afternoon…was it a one time thing?"

Darren doesn't think he's ever seen Chris look so scared. "Only if you want it to be. I wasn't lying when I said I've wanted to kiss YOU for a long time." He makes room for Chris on the couch, and is secretly thrilled when Chris sits much closer to him than he normally would.

"I don't really know what to say," Chris admits after a few minutes. "I never thought you'd ever think of me like that. I never thought anyone would, if I'm being honest."

Darren's eyes are like molten gold as he scoots a little closer and Chris can't help but think that they are stunning. "You're an amazing, sexy person, and everyone sees it. You're everyone's favorite for a reason, Chris."

"Oh, stop," Chris says coyly, averting his gaze.

Darren doesn't.

"Seriously. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I'm not into labels, you know that, but I've always more or less thought of myself as straight. I've kissed a few guys, just because, but…it never felt the way it feels to kiss you, even when it wasn't really us kissing. There's just something about you…"

Chris can't take it anymore. He pushes Darren against the couch, straddles his lap, and kisses him breathless.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

For making me feel beautiful in my own skin , Chris thinks, but he can't say that. But that doesn't mean he has to lie. "Because I want you," he whispers, relishing the way Darren shivers when Chris's lips brush against his ear.

Darren's stomach growls, and they both burst out laughing.

"Not that I don't want you…you know I want you," Darren says, squeezing his hands where they've come to rest on Chris's waist. "But I'm kind of starving. Dinner? I'll buy."

"Can we order in? I don't want to go out like this," Chris murmurs, hips nudging against Darren's body instinctively.

"Like what?" Darren asks teasingly, although he already knows the answer. It's kind of staring him in the face/desperately trying to escape the confines of Chris's jeans and making his own reason for wanting to stay in ache even more.

"Oh, shut up. Chinese or Pizza?"

"Pizza," Darren says quickly.

"You went to college…aren't you sick of pizza by now?"

Darren shrugs. "I don't even taste it anymore."

Chris laughs and pulls out his phone to order.

* * *

 

Somehow, Darren finds himself over at Chris's place almost every night. If he isn't at Chris's place, then Chris is at his. They subtly find reasons not to go out with the rest of the cast, and for some reason, they usually don't say that they're not going because they'll be with one another. Keeping their…relationship, or whatever it is, a secret isn't something they've talked about, but somehow that's what's happening.

They don't talk about Chris's secret either. Chris is terrified of saying anything because he doesn't want to scare Darren away. Darren's scared to bring it up because he doesn't want Chris to think this is all about some fetish. It really isn't, because Darren never thought about it until Chris dropped that particular bomb on him, but the idea of Chris's legs in fishnets, thinking about how his ass would look in black lacy panties is driving him absolutely insane.

They haven't done much more than rub against one another—sometimes they manage to get their pants off, and one time Chris let Darren give him a handjob and it had been glorious for both of them. Chris tried to reciprocate but Darren assured him that it wasn't necessary. Just watching Chris was enough. The way his face twisted with ecstasy, the freaking noises he made, the fact that Darren could DO that to him…was mind blowing. He doesn't want to pressure, doesn't want to push, but all he knows is a constant state of want.

Which leads them to tonight, where Darren has taken a huge risk, one that he's terrified isn't going to pay off. He's a little scared it kind of might ruin everything. But that's the beautiful thrill of taking a chance on something.

Instead of just talking to Chris like a normal person might have, (although he must admit that nothing about this situation has been normal to begin with), he'd left a beautifully wrapped box and a note in Chris's trailer while he was filming a scene with Mike and Cory.

The note had read:

I'm scared to push you, but…if you're ready to explore this, to talk about it, I'm coming over at 9, and I hope you'll be wearing this. But you don't have to. Either way, I hope you still let me in.

He didn't sign it—he'd felt the contents of the bag would make it obvious who the note was from, if the words themselves weren't enough.

The bag had contained what Darren had been having wet dreams about ever since Chris had whispered "that stuff is mine."

So now it's 8:48 and Darren is early and pacing outside the door, trying to wait until it's at least 8:56, because anything else would look desperate.

"I can see you through the peephole, Darren. I'm going to unlock the door…come in when you're ready." Chris's tone is a little mocking and muffled through the door, but it's obvious that he was anxiously waiting too. That makes Darren feel a little less silly. Or maybe he was stomping in front of the door instead of pacing in front of it. It makes him feel better to think that Chris was just that excited to see him.

Darren laughs a little, but opens the door after a few deep calming breaths. He's ready for whatever he sees on the other side.

Holy.

Fucking.

Hell.

Darren shuts and locks the door behind him, leaning against it because he's not sure he can stand up on his own right now. He's aware that he's breathing heavily, and that he was hideously wrong—nothing could have ever prepared him for how deliciously incredible Chris would look like this. Darren hoped more than anything that the black lacy boyshorts he'd bought were under that indecently short silk robe. Chris was draped on the couch like a piece of fucking art and his legs were crossed and they looked amazing in the thigh high fishnets Darren had given him. But the icing on the cake? The glossy red platform pumps that Chris had procured from god knows where. He probably had multiple pairs. The thought was too much. His brain was short circuiting and he was pretty sure his mouth was open. All Darren could do was stare.

"Something wrong?" Chris asked, his voice drifting over Darren's skin like silk

"No." Darren swallowed hard, trying to get his wits together long enough to say the right thing. "You look amazing. God, the things I want to do to you right now."

Chris untied the sash on the robe and let it hang open.

Yeah. No, make that _FUCK YEAH_. The boyshorts were definitely there. And Chris was just as hard as he was. The contrast between feminine lace and male arousal was the most erotic thing Darren had ever seen. Chris stood and crossed to where Darren is still pressed against the door, hanging on for dear life. He didn't wobble or falter in spite of the sky high heels, and something about that really, REALLY turns Darren on. Chris fists a hand in the soft cotton of Darren's t-shirt and pulls him up and in for a hot, sloppy kiss that leaves both of them breathless and floating.

The robe is hanging off of Chris's elbows now, and Darren shoves it to the floor. "No idea," he mumbles, "You have no idea how much this is turning me on."

Chris lets a hand fall to Darren's cock where it's trying to burn a goddamn hole through his jeans. "I think I have some idea, " he murmurs as he squeezes Darren's cock. He moans and his hips stutter into Chris's hands. "You really do like this," Chris purrs.

"It's your goddamn legs," he breathes. "And those fucking shoes. and I wish I could show you how hot this is making me."

"This is one of those times when you can get what you want, Darren."

Their eyes lock for a minute, and Darren knows that Chris is really saying " _Take what you want. This is all for you_."

And something about that, the complete trust, the willingness to surrender to whatever might come makes Darren want to just give Chris everything. He just wants to give. Right now that means switching their positions, pushing Chris against the door and kissing him with everything he's got.

It means jerking those lovely panties down to Chris's ankles and using them to trap his legs apart.

It means letting Chris pull his hair a little as Darren sinks his mouth down onto his cock, sucking and bobbing and tasting. It's sloppy and hot and wet and messy and completely new, which makes it incredible. Darren's experimented with other guys before, an awkward kiss and some heavy petting in college, but he never ever wanted to sink down to his knees in front of another man and worship his cock. Chris makes him want to do a lot of things he never thought he'd want to do. Darren's eyes float up to Chris's face, squeezed tight and turned to the side in pure ecstasy and then he can't stop himself from palming his cock through his jeans as he tries desperately to swallow as much of Chris as he can.

Chris is making the most incredible noises—anyone who walks by will probably hear them, but Darren doesn't give two fucks about that. Let them hear how good he's making Chris feel. Darren runs his hands up Chris's fishnet clad legs, savoring the roughness of them against his hands. Then he's meeting smooth hot skin as his hands glide to hard bones of Chris's hips. Darren slides them around to cup his ass, kneading and massaging. He ventures a look up at Chris, and nearly comes in his pants. Chris looks completely and utterly destroyed. His head is thrown back, pressed hard into the door, and Darren can see his throat working as Chris moans garbled nonsense. Darren doesn't need to make out any words to know that it means he's doing everything right. And then there's a moment, Chris tugs his hair a little harder, his hips stutter forward and hot come is spurting into Darren's mouth. He swallows it as quickly as possible, trying to decipher all the notes in its taste, deciding that it's not so bad but that he wouldn't use it for pasta sauce or anything. Come to think of it, there's probably some weird porn site out there that centers around special alfredo sauce. But is he really musing about unlikely pasta porn when he just made Chris Colfer come? Out of all the things he's accomplished in the past year in a half, making Chris come undone like this gives him the greatest sense of accomplishment.

A sharp jerk and slight push on his shoulder tells him that it's time to back off, and he pulls his head away, swiping at his swollen lips with his tongue.

"Holy fucking fuck, Darren. Now I think I need a cigarette," Chris mumbles, raking his hands through his hair.

Darren can't stop himself from laughing a little.

"Get up here." Chris extends a hand, and Darren takes it, pushing himself up with a hand on the door.

"Are you sure you've never done that before?" Chris asks.

"Nope. I just…you looked, you look so incredible that I just wanted to…I don't know."

"Well, whatever it was you set out to do, you fucking succeeded," Chris informs him. "And now it's my turn. " He guides Darren so that his back is against the wall now. He's kind of glad for the support—his knees are a little wobbly for about a million reasons right now.

"You don't—" Darren begins.

Chris cuts him off with a kiss.

"I want to make you feel good. I don't feel like I have to. I just want to."

Well that's enough to keep Darren's mouth shut as Chris unbuckles his belt and shoves his pants down to mid thigh. He's desperate, and it's not going to take too many strokes of Chris's soft hands for him to come.

"I'm not going to last long," he admits. "Blowing you really does it for me I guess."

Chris just smiles and leans in to kiss and nibble at Darren's neck. The combination of teeth on his neck and soft thin fingers on his cock is too much, and Darren comes, seeing stars and white and nothing at the same time. His eyes slid shut at some point and when he opens them, Chris's own, blue and bright and burning are staring down at him affectionately.

"What are we going to do?" Chris asks.

"Mmm?" Darren's still in that post orgasmic world where everything is wonderful and nothing is really worth paying attention to. He's not even sure how long he's been slumped against the door, blissed out and completely content.

"I'm kind of falling for you," Chris admits. "We've spent so much time together over the past few weeks, and now this. I don't know what I'm going to do."

Well that is worth paying attention to. His eyes make an effort to actually focus on Chris's face. "Oh. Wow. Well, you know…you're not alone."

A hysterical giggle bubbles from Chris throat.

"What?" Darren says indignantly. He just confessed to returning Chris's burgeoning feelings, and he gets laughter in return?

Chris rests a hand on the door frame and coughs into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just that whenever you say that…I instantly start scream singing "Not Alone" in my head."

Darren's lips twitch. "Fair enough. But it kind of fits, doesn't it?" He grins up at Chris and winks.

Chris nods warily. "Yes but…I will cut your balls off with a spoon if you dare think of serenading me, and especially with that song."

"Oh, but Chris. I'm such a romantic. How then shall I express my love for you?" Darren says dramatically, blinking and looking goofy and dreamy all at the same time.

"By sticking around," Chris says before he can stop himself.

"I'm not going anywhere," Darren says softly. Then his eyes light up and Chris knows that he's going to be rolling his eyes at whatever comes out next. "In fact, you might say…I'm never saying goodbye to you." He waggles his eyebrows, grinning like an absolute idiot.

Chris wants to love him and slap him at the same time. He settles for a gentle shove. "You're such a cheeseball, Darren. I don't know how I'm going to put up with you."

Darren lays a hand over his chest as though wounded. "Hey! You love my antics! Everyone does!"

Chris does have to admit that this is 100% true. Not out loud though. "That's what you think, Darren. That's what you think. I only like you because you give killer blowjobs."

"Well, you're the only person I've ever given one to so…there's got to be other reasons why you loveeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." The facial expression Darren is wearing is so utterly ridiculous that Chris actually does roll his eyes this time.

"You'll just have to figure them out for yourself, you attention whore. "

Chris steps out of the panties that are still hanging loosely at his ankles. He kicks off his shoes and goes to the couch, burrowing into it.

Darren yanks his pants up around his hips and flops down next to him. Usually Chris would hate being so close to someone else after getting so sweaty, but he's willing to make an exception.

"I have plenty of practice in heels—don't look t me like that, it's all because of Kurt—but my feet are killing me. I have to say, though…the rewards definitely outweigh the consequences today."

"Is that so?" Darren mumbles into his shoulder. "Well…how about a foot massage?"

Chris shuts his eyes, feeling blissful just thinking about it. "That would be amazing."


	2. Chapter Two

Darren was the best…whatever he was…that Chris could have ever imagined. Everything was absolutely wonderful. And frankly, Chris was worried about that. The phrase "too good to be true" didn't exist for nothing. They still hadn't defined whatever they were, and no matter what Darren had said when this all started last month, Chris still wasn't one hundred percent sure that he wasn't just sticking around for the sexy lingerie and the mind-blowing orgasms. Furthermore, Darren had been into girls for twenty four years. Now, all of a sudden, Chris was supposed to believe that some kisses and a set of botched up directions changed everything? Or maybe it was just that he was so incredible that a lifetime of staring at boobs suddenly didn't matter. Neither scenario really seemed credible. Darren was straight. Was it really possible for Darren to just, not care that Chris was a guy? Chris honestly couldn't see himself having romantic feelings for a woman—he could appreciate beauty regardless of genitalia, but he'd never want to get intimate with a girl, no matter how gorgeous he thought she was. He was terrified that Darren would wake up one morning, realize that Chris had a cock, and run away screaming.

There was also the fact that he felt trapped by how much he needed Darren. Darren made him happy. He was sweet and encouraging—every touch felt like an affirmation. He's always telling Chris howbeautiful and gorgeous he was. The part of Chris that had always been a little scared and lonely clung on to those compliments with an intensity that was stunning in its ferocity. It was so much, so soon, and it scared him to allow himself to be so incredibly vulnerable with someone else. Darren was the only person who knew about his dirty little secret. What if Chris was still here just because Darren accepted that about him? What if he was here because Darren was like Prozac and Zoloft all rolled into one gorgeous, sexy package? He doubted himself—he doubted Darren. How in the hell was this ever going to work?

A pair of hands gripped his hips and pulled them backwards. Chris's back rested against a familiarly warm chest, his ass was pressed up against a semi-hard cock that he'd spent hours exploring with his hands and tongue. His thoughts melted away. They always did every time Darren touched him.

"What are you thinking about?" Darren asks, the words vibrating against Chris's neck.

A jolt of anxiety shoots through him. Should he just…say something now, before they get any deeper into this? They've already fallen so far. But no relationship is perfect…it's natural to have doubts. Gnawing doubts that creep upon him every time he's alone. Chris knows it's not normal. But if he says something and Darren agrees with him, then this is over. No more feeling beautiful while Darren's hands are on him, no more feeling warm and accepted. He can't give that up yet.

Clearly he's taken too long to answer, because Darren has wrapped his arms around Chris's torso, hugging him tightly. His cheek snuggles against one of Chris's shoulder blades as he murmurs "Is something wrong?"

Chris's heart clenches as he thinks 'Yes. I think something is wrong But if I tell you I think I'm going to lose you and I can't handle that because I'm not sure if you're even mine to lose.' But he says, "No, not really. I was just thinking about…you and me." He wanted to say 'us', but saying you were an 'us' with someone else meant something and he wasn't even sure he could safely assume anything about them beyond being friends that fuck and cuddle.

Darren turns Chris's body so that they're face to face. "What about us?" His tone is neutral, but his eyes are asking 'should I be worried?'

Chris bites his lip, debating. He takes a deep breath. "Just thinking about how much I'd like to be kissing you right now."

Darren's intake of breath is gratifying, as is the way his eyes flash and melt. "My trailer. As soon as we finish filming for the morning."

Darren can't kiss him now, even though they both know he wants to. They're on set. It's nothing for Darren and Chris to be practically on top of one another, talking intimately and cuddling—but kissing? That would turn heads. Not to mention that Ryan would kill them. Chris scans the hallway—no one seems to have noticed them—they'd been a little indiscreet, so he can only thank his lucky stars that no one seemed to notice.

Chris leans against Kurt's locker, one foot propped against the bottom row of lockers. His foot is tapping and he keeps glancing at his watch. Chris forces himself to look excited—Kurt's waiting to meet Blaine after school for a duet practice. Darren—Blaine—rounds the corner, and Kurt perks up at the sight of him, a slight smile gracing his lips.

"Hey," he breathes once they're close enough.

"Hey yourself," Blaine replies. "I've been thinking, and—"

Both of them are blasted by blue slushie. They freeze as it drips down their faces, sliding onto their clothing as they stare at each other in shock. Naturally, Kurt recovers first and smiles bitterly.

"Welcome to McKinley. Let's go get cleaned up."

Blaine blinks a little, still in shock. Kurt takes his hand and Blaine squeezes back tightly as they walk, hand in hand down the hallway and around the corner.

Chris is sure the camera will zoom in on those tightly clasped hands in the final cut.

"Cut!" the director yells.

Kurt and Blaine slide away, leaving Chris and Darren, who are now both cold and uncomfortable.

"Jesus Christ," Darren says. "Bitch slapped by an iceberg doesn't even begin to cover it."

Chris giggles in spite of himself. "You'll get used to it," he says quietly, and it feels like something Kurt might say to Blaine. "It's not so bad after a while."

Darren smiles back at him, licking his lips clean of blue-raspberry flavoring. "I'm even more in awe of you now. You've gone through this millions of times."

Chris shrugs. "It's part of the job. Speaking of which, we need to get cleaned up and redressed."

They parted ways, feeling strangely warm in spite of the cold.

"Action!"

Luckily, they didn't have any speaking parts this time. They'd been instructed to chat casually at Blaine's locker, and to look happy doing it.

"So," Darren said. "I can't wait till I get you alone."

Chris forces himself to just smile as though he were Kurt talking about the latest issue of Vogue with Blaine. "Yeah, well, what are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to throw you down onto the couch, strip off your clothes and fucking worship you," It's a little eerie how his face manages to look completely innocent while he says it.

Chris can't stop his jaw from dropping a little. He looks past Darren's shoulder for a moment, collecting himself. Fine. Two can play that game.

"Guess what?" Chris teases.

Darren raises an eyebrow. "Chicken butt?"

Chris rolls his eyes. "God, really?"

Darren grins. "Okay, okay. That was lame. But what were you going to say?"

"I'm wearing your favorite kind of panties under these jeans."

Darren's jaw clenches noticeably as he tries not to react. "Oh my god," he whispers, eyes darkening. "Really?"

"Would I lie to you?" Chris murmurs. The words taste sour in his mouth.

It's a good thing this scene is a general hallway shot that they aren't the focus of, or else a cut would have been called a long time ago. They're staring into each other's eyes, forgetting to make conversation, forgetting where they are for a moment too long. They're leaning in and their lips meet for the briefest moment before Chris remembers that FUCK, they are at WORK. He pulls back hastily and smiles, a blush staining his cheeks as he murmurs something about being in character and oh god oh god what did they just do?

Darren replies in kind, grinning and neither of them will remember what this faked conversation was about in five minutes.

"Cut!"

The director runs over to them eyes blazing. "Okay…not planned, but that looked great. You two…are just…genius. Genius. Let's call it quits for the morning."

The smile awkwardly.

"Thought we'd throw something in for the fans," Chris says casually.

Darren nods gratefully.

Chris is a little too good at lying.

They're showered and dressed in their street clothes, staring at the paper plates of sandwiches, fruit and chips in front of them on the table of Darren's tiny trailer. Chris sips delicately from the Styrofoam coffee cup, wishing someone would say something.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" he asks, finally breaking the silence.

Darren shrugs. "Aren't you?"

"Not hungry," Chris replies.

"Me either."

Minutes pass.

Darren exhales. "So…I just…really needed to kiss you right then. I don't know why. I just couldn't stop myself."

"Me either. I forgot where we were."

Okay, well, now that part's over. But it's still awkward. There's still too much left unsaid.

Chris takes a deep breath and goes for gold. "What are we, Darren?"

Darren stiffens, and Chris's stomach drops. This was the wrong thing to do, the wrong thing to say and now he doesn't know how to take it back because he can't and now everything is going to fall apart and god why is he so stupid.

"Wow," Darren says. "First…you aren't stupid. It wasn't the wrong thing to say, I'm not going anywhere, and could you calm down a little? I just wasn't expecting that, okay?"

Chris colors violently. "I said all of that out loud?"

Darren smiles a little. "Yeah. Luckily for you I find word vomit adorable."

Chris covers his face with his hands. "God that's embarrassing."

Darren pulls his hands away. "It's kind of cute. But…what are we? I don't know. We're really good friends. We find each other ridiculously attractive. The sex is…amazing. It's kind of confusing sometimes, but…it feels so good, so right that it seems crazy to get caught up in who has what parts."

Who has what parts. That means…God, Chris's worst nightmare is on the horizon. Darren will decide he's had more than enough of cock and by that time Chris will be so in love with him that he won't be able to handle it. "So…we're friends. Who fuck." Chris says. It sounds blunt and hollow.

Darren sighs. "Yes and no. I mean, it's more than just fucking, okay? I'm not sure what I feel for you. I feel a lot of things about you."

"Me too." Chris's voice is almost a whisper.

"Can't that be enough?" Darren kisses his lips softly.

Can it? Chris isn't sure. But he's willing to try and let it be enough. He pulls away and smiles shakily. "Don't you think it's about time you found out whether or not I was really wearing lacey panties while we were on set?"

Darren attacks his lips and they fall back on to the couch, clawing at each other's clothes, gasping and moaning as they thrust against each other frantically. Darren gasps when he sees that Chris was lying—he's not wearing anything under his jeans. An insistent knock at the door startles them.

FUCK.

"Just a second!" Darren calls.

They jerk apart, straightening themselves and each other frantically. Chris fluffs the pillows on the couch so they don't look like two bodies were just pressed into them and dives for the table, pretending like he's just sitting down to lunch. Darren rubs at his face and opens the door, greeting a very suspicious looking Ashley.

"What's up? Want to come in and join us for lunch?" Darren says pleasantly, making room for her to step in.

She rolls her eyes as she pushes past him. "Don't play that game with me, Criss. You two reek of sex. Pretty sure I just interrupted something. Which is probably a good thing—what part of "no sex in your trailers" don't you two idiots understand?"

Chris blushes tellingly. "We were not having sex."

"Whatever. I just wanted to tell you that you've got to be more discreet. I saw you two on set earlier, and you looked a little "bout to get my sex on." I'm not sure that I'm the only one who saw. There's been a lot of talk about you two. You've been spending all your time together, and none with anyone else at all, and people are starting to notice. What the hell is going on?"

Darren gulps. "Uhm…I mean. We're uh…" He grabs Chris's hand.

Chris looks up at him in surprise. He's not going to help Darren fill in the blank this time. He desperately wants to know what Darren thinks. The hand grabbing makes him feel hopeful.

"We're kind of a thing," Darren finishes lamely.

Chris can't decide if he's excited or disappointed. Kind of a thing? Much better than fuck buddies or friends, not as good as "together" or "dating."

She raises her eyebrow. "Not gonna lie. That's hot. Your fans would approve. But do a better job of keeping a secret, or tell everyone what's going on. Okay? I'm done and leaving. You can finish whatever you were doing. Feel free to give me the porny details later."

And with a wink that makes them both feel a little violated, she's gone.

"Kind of a thing?" Chris demands. He can't help himself. Whatever he felt when those words left Darren's lips was definitely closer to disappointment than anything else. He just can't let it go.

Darren sighs. "I don't know, it just came out. I knew I couldn't say nothing and…I didn't know what I should say and honestly? I think we're more than that. At least, I think it's becoming more than that. Sometimes…I mean, I always want you, you're gorgeous, but…sometimes I really just need to be aroundyou."

"So what does that mean?" Chris knows he's pressing the point, that Darren's starting to get agitated.

"What do you want it to mean? What do you want from me, Chris?"

That stops him short. He thinks hard for a minute. "I don't know."

Darren lets out a noise of frustration. "I…need to clear my head. "

Oh. Oh . "I'll leave you to it, then." Chris turns without waiting for a response, ignoring Darren's soft request to stay.

He doesn't know why this hurts so much, why he wants to cry. He's not sure what they fought about, if they fought about anything, whose fault it is that he feels like complete and utter shit right now.

Three days pass in almost complete silence. If they didn't have to portray America's cutest couple on screen, Chris wouldn't have talked to Darren at all. Kurt and Blaine go on a date, Blaine walks him to the door afterward, and they kiss. It's supposed to be sweet, awkward and heartwarming, but all they can seem to manage is angry, hot, and passionate. Once, Darren backs Chris against the door.

The director calls a cut. For the fifth time.

"What's gotten into you two? Let's…just…ten minutes, okay? Come back and be yourselves, or at least, be Kurt and Blaine."

"Sorry," Chris says quietly. He clears his throat, narrows his eyes at Darren and stalks off toward the bathrooms. He hopes Darren won't follow him in. His hopes are dashed.

"Chris," he hisses. "We need to talk. I was fine with letting you act like…whatever, but now we can't even work together? That's a problem."

"Act like what?" Chris demands bracing himself against the sink.

Darren's fists clench. "Like a complete and utter bastard."

Chris's eyes widen. "I'm the one who's a bastard? Screw you, Darren." He tries to turn away but Darren grabs his arm.

"Will you just talk to me? And yeah, you are being an asshole. You act like I don't have any feelings because I can't put words to them right now. I don't know what I'm feeling, and I'm just being honest. It doesn't mean I want out, goddamnit. You won't talk to me, you won't answer my calls or my texts and I know you were at home last night when I came by. You're really pissing me off."

That's just what Chris was waiting for. "Then forget about it. Just go. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further."

He tries to jerk away again but Darren won't let him.

"Let go of me," Chris says quietly.

"No. I'm mad at you, and I'm confused, and yeah, shit is complicated but I never said any of that meant I didn't still want you."

"Yeah, you always want me to give you a blowjob—big fucking deal. Anyone could do that. Anyone would. I'm sure there's some extra just waiting for you to say the word. They'd probably wear red lacey panties for you, too." That was a cheap shot, and they both know it.

Darren lets go of Chris's arm. Chris feels a sharp pang at the wounded look on Darren's face. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, why you're doing this to us, but I'm not going to let you. I don't want anyone else and you know it. You know this is about a hell of a lot more than sex."

"So we're an "us" now? What convenient timing." Chris knows he's being unfair, but he can't stand to be anything but angry right now.

"If you don't want to be in this, that's another thing. I thought you wanted this, Chris. I thought you were happy trying to figure this out with me."

"What's to figure out? It's because I have a dick isn't it?" There. It's out.

Darren sighs. Then, reluctantly, he says, "Yes. That's part of it. I never thought I'd want to be with a guy, and so that's pretty fucking new. I never thought I'd be into cross dressing either. Excuse me for being a little thrown by that."

"Fuck you," Chris says quietly. "Just…get away from me."

"No."

"Then I'll leave."

"Don't."

But the word falls on deaf ears. Chris, eyes misting with tears, slips out of the bathroom.

This time, Darren doesn't follow him.

They fail utterly at filming the kiss another seven times. Frustrated, the director says they'll try it again in the morning, that the two of them had better sort out whatever is going on by then.

Chris doubts that they will—he kind of doesn't want to talk to Darren for at least a year.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris knew he'd been right to be suspicious when Lea had insisted that they go out to dinner.

"You've been getting a lot of calls and messages," she said pointedly as Chris's phone vibrated for the millionth time.

It's Darren of course, but Chris has no idea what he'd say to him. And, if he's being honest, he's a little scared about whatever it is that Darren has to say to him after the complete breakdown in communication they'd had.

"It's Darren, isn't it?" Lea asked softly.

Chris smiled apologetically in response. "Yeah." He hopes Lea will leave it at that, but if he knows her, and he does, she won't.

"So," she began, pushing her pasta around the plate. "I might have totally heard the fight you two had earlier."

Chris's throat went dry. His fork clinked loudly as it hit the plate. "Oh God," he breathed.

"Yeah," she said gently. "But don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"I know, but...God." A small noise of frustration worked its way out of him.

"So talk to me," she pleaded, her big brown eyes full of concern. "Maybe it'll help."

He took a deep breath. "So…Darren and I have been…" He paused thoughtfully, trying to find the right words.

"Fooling around?" Lea supplied helpfully.

"Yeah. Something like that. Except, you know, with feelings."

She shrugged. "I figured that much—people don't get that upset unless they care about each other at least a little."

Lea took a sip of her water, and waited patiently for Chris to figure out what he wanted to say. He was grateful that she didn't press him.

"Well, if you heard all of the argument, you know what the main problem is right now," Chris began.

"I have some idea," she corrected. "People rarely mention what's actually upsetting them when they fight. And only you know what's really hurting you."

"It's just that…there's no way in hell he's going to still be here when he realizes that he's…you know, straight. He says it's more for him, but…how am I not just his…gay experiment?" His heart tightened in his chest. "How?"

Lea considered that carefully. Although he was a little miffed that she didn't deny it off the bat, he appreciated her taking his words so seriously. "Well, I have to say that I don't think that's what's going on. Darren is the kind that says what he means and nothing more. But, what are you trying to accomplish by pushing him away? Break his heart first so you don't have to get yours broken?"

It sounded stupid when she said it like that. "Well…yes? I don't know, Lea. I just…am so confused. He said that he needed time to think about it—either he wants me or he doesn't. If he has to think about it, then—"

"Then he's probably someone who cares enough about you to not want to just jump in without thinking about it," Lea cut in.

Chris shot her a hurt look. "Don't you see?" he asked voice heavy with emotion. "If he has to think about it, if he doesn't know from the way that he feels about me that he's okay with the fact that I have a—" Chris lowered his voice and looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to him before continuing, " a penis, then…that should tell us ALL something."

"Like what?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know," Chris said finally. "I just…I want him to be sure because he just feels it. He should just know. If he has to think this hard about it, doesn't that change things?" His voice was small and unsure.

Lea shook her head. "For Darren, definitely not." She chewed her lip in thought. He's a very intentional person," she said finally. "I don't think it's you that's a problem at all. You're the first guy he's ever gotten serious about, you know? And there's…the other part I heard. " Her grin is so wide it's frightening.

Chris knew she was talking about the cross dressing and the panties, but he just couldn't go there with her. "So…let's pretend like you never, ever heard that, okay?" Chris murmured cheeks red with shame.

Lea shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, you know. I don't care. I'm sure it's…hot."

"Oh God, Lea." Chris didn't think he could be more mortified, but apparently he'd been wrong. She laughed and then patted his hand across the table.

"Look, I think…I think you were the tiniest bit unfair earlier. Unless Darren did something else I don't know about—you came down a little harsh? Imagine how you'd feel if you found yourself falling in love with a woman—wouldn't you be confused too?"

"Wow, is this 'take Chris down a peg day' and I didn't get the memo?" he shot back. She's more than little bit right, and he doesn't want her to be.

She raised an eyebrow. "I'll allow you that outburst, because we both know I'm right," Lea said smugly, taking a sip of her water.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "But there is something else. We've actually been fighting all week- Ashley kind of…noticed that we've been spending so much time together and she came to Darren's trailer to confront us about it. Well, she walked on me asking to, you know, define the relationship and ended up asking him what we were."

"Awkward," Lea sang.

It was her turn to feel chastised as Chris raised an eyebrow. "As you were," she said, smiling apologetically and waving a hand at him.

Chris continued. "Well, he responded by grabbing my hand and blurting out 'we're kind of a thing.' Kind of a thing, Lea!" The last sentence was half-shouted and accompanied by a loud bang on the table. It attracted the curious stares of the people at the table next to them, and Chris looked away hastily.

Lea winced. "Okay, I can see how that might be upsetting. God, what a Darren thing to say." She paused and smiled fondly before continuing. "So…you'd already fought, and weren't talking about it and then you had another fight and on top of it all you'd had to kiss each other all day…yeah, I can see how that might be a little difficult and lead to harsh and hasty words during an argument."

"Yeah," Chris said heavily. "I guess…I was a little unfair, but he kind of screwed up earlier and…honestly Lea, it hurt. 'Kind of a thing?' He could have said anything else. I think even "I'm not sure' might have been better. I want him to be sure but I just fucking wish he'd hurry up and figure it out already!"

"Are you sure he's the only one who needs to figure things out?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I know I'm gay."

Lea rolled her eyes. "There's a lot more to a relationship than having the right genitals, Chris," she scolded. "Now, how do you feel about him? And are you sure he knows about it?"

Chris stiffened defensively. "I like him. A lot. He makes me feel…better than I ever thought I could about everything. It's obvious—how could he not know how much I like him?"

"So…you're scared that he's only around for the sex, for the—"she stops herself from saying it at the look on Chris's face and continues with, "Well, you know. Maybe he's scared you don't really like him—that it's just about how he makes you feel?"

Chris was silent for a moment as he tried to process that. "Oh. Wow. I hadn't thought of it like that."

Lea smiled sweetly at him. "And that's why you need friends like me. Meddling friends who get in the middle of fights and talk to both sides."

"And here I was thinking that you were just perceptive."

"Well…I love you both a lot. I just wanted to help. Are you mad?"

"No," Chris sighed. "Talking about it is good."

She nodded sagely. "You need to talk to Darren about all of this. You were the one that walked out, so…you kind of need to be the one to make it okay to talk. I'll l call him when I'm done with you."

Lea smiled. "Good."

They both took sips of their drinks.

"So, how's Darren in bed?"

Chris nearly spit out his mouthful of pasta. "Lea!" he hissed, wiping at his mouth with a napkin. "I don't…kiss and tell."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You can't tell the press enough about how good a kisser Darren is. Which is, of course, totally true."

Chris's cheeks were flaming. "Well, you know, we haven't done…everything yet, but…what we have done has been pretty great," he said quietly, grinning to himself.

"Still here, Colfer?"

Chris blinked away the thought of Darren's eyes blazing into his as he took Chris's cock deep inside of his hot, wet mouth. "Yeah," he said weakly.

"He must be some kind of sex god to make you space out like that," she speculated.

"Honestly, Lea, are you sure you aren't one of our obsessed fan girls?"

She laughed. "You know, you really should text him back…he's probably a lot worse than he was when I left him a while ago."

"Yeah. I know." He picked up his phone.

Chris: We should talk. Come over at 8?

It took Darren a grand total of 10 seconds to reply.

Darren: Thank God. I was beginning to get a little worried. I'll be there.

At precisely 7:48 pm, Chris heard a familiar thumping noise outside of his door.

Chris opened the door. "You're so loud for someone so small," he commented, stepping aside to let Darren in.

He looked a mess. His eyes were red. Had he…been crying? Surely not.

"Darren…are you okay?" Chris asked, awkwardness forgotten for a moment.

He smiled shakily. "I've been really torn up about a few things," he admitted, voice rough with emotion. "And then after the conversation we had, and the way you weren't answering, I was scared you were off somewhere doing something crazy to forget about it all. "

Chris had to admit, he'd been thinking of going out to a club, getting drunk, making out with some stranger and grinding him into a wall until a meaningless orgasm washed over them.

"Well, you have Lea and her interfering ways to thank for that," Chris said, walking over to the couch and sitting on it stiffly. Darren took the other end, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

Chris coughed, breaking the tension and squeezed his hands together. He took a deep breath, ignored the rising urge to vomit and/or run away and said, "Well, first off, I said a lot of really harsh things earlier that I didn't mean. I'm…sorry about those."

Darren nodded. "I know. I knew you were…upset about what happened with Ashley."

Chris's hands slowed their wringing motions. "Yeah. Honestly…it still hurts." He looked away.

Darren shifted a little closer. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say."

"You could have just said what you felt!" Chris half-shouted.

Darren sighed. "What I feel…is…complicated."

"Try," Chris pleaded. "I've never really done this before," he confessed.

Darren's head shot up. "What?"

Chris's cheeks were red with shame. "I mean…I've done things with people. Casual hookups, drunken moments that didn't really mean anything. I had to know, you know? But…I've never been in this deep with anyone. I was this awkward kid, and then I got famous, and...I don't know. I never found the time."

Darren opened his mouth to speak, but Chris put a hand up to stop him.

"Wait. There's more." He clenched his fists tight on his lap before finding the courage to continue. "Then…I told you to open the wrong drawer. Then you tell me you've had somewhat of a crush on me formonths and you don't care that I'm a freak, in fact, you like it. The fact that someone like you, someone normal, could like me, in spite of my…habit, makes me feel…amazing."

"So…do you…actually want to be with me, or are here because I'm like…Prozac with a cock?" Darren asked, forcing himself to meet Chris's eyes.

A snort of hysterical laughter escaped him before he could stop it. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really. Is it just because I'm here?"

Chris thought he was going to throw up as he sat there frozen under Darren's penetrating gaze. "I don't know. I'm not sure," he managed to say, bottom lip quivering and eyes burning with unshed tears. "You're just the kind of person who makes people feel good—isn't it just part of who you are?"

And then the dam breaks loose inside of him, and Chris can't stop the tears from spilling down his face.

Darren watched him, unsure of what to do or how he felt about this scene. Part of him, the part that's falling in love with Chris, couldn't bear the sight. Another part, the part that's hurt, confused and insecure, was glad to see him suffer for the hell Chris had put him through the past few days.

Darren set his jaw, pushed the weaker side down, and crawled over the couch so he could wrap his arms around Chris's shaking shoulders.

"Don't," Chris gasped. He twisted, trying to escape Darren's embrace, but found that he couldn't. "Please. Just let me go."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to care about you so damn much!" Chris yelled. The words seemed to echo against the walls.

"So you do care," Darren said softly, squeezing Chris a little tighter.

"I don't cry like an idiot for just anyone, Darren. If you were smart, then you'd just leave. It'd be so much easier for you."

It's as much of a 'yes' as Darren is going to get. "Is that what you really, really want, Chris?"

Chris's side pressed into Darren's chest as he takes a deep, calming breath. "No. But it's just me being selfish. "

"Hmmm," Darren murmured. "It would be easier. And maybe smarter. But I'm a pretty dumb guy, so…I'm not going anywhere. In spite of how confusing and complicated this is, I can't tear myself away from you. You make me feel so many things. So much so that half of me doesn't care if I'm just your happy pill."

Chris's breath hitched. "You're more than that and you know it, Darren. I guess I'm confused too," he admitted.

"About what?"

"I just can't believe you mean things like that." The sobbing, which had begun to die down, began anew.

"Why not?" Darren waited for Chris's answer with bated breath—his first instinct was to feel hurt, but Darren realized that Chris's struggle had little to do with him at all.

"Chris," he breathed, "Why not? Why don't you think I could care about you?" He held tightly to Chris's still shaking shoulders. He sounded like a wounded animal—it was horrible. Darren barely understands how Chris was breathing through all of this.

"Chris, god damn it, look at me!" Darren pulled away and shook Chris's shoulders a little.

A few more hiccups, a few more hysterical sobs, but that seemed to be enough to get Chris to calm down a little.

"S-sorry," he muttered, his voice hoarse.

"Want some water?"

Chris nodded. Darren got up and grabbed two bottles from the fridge. He uncapped one and handed it to Chris.

Chris took a few long gulps from the bottle, then set it down and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

He sniffed a little, and Darren appeared at his side with a Kleenex. He pretended to busy himself with opening his bottle of water while Chris blew his nose. Chris protested when Darren grabbed it delicately by a corner and took it to the trash.

"I'm sure I look horrible right now," Chris said, trying to make a joke.

"Hey now" Darren chided, taking Chris's face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I know this might be a loaded word for us, but you're always beautiful to me."

Darren felt Chris's cheeks heat up under his hands.

"Thanks," Chris said quietly. Darren backed away, standing there awkwardly for a moment.

Chris slid off the couch and rested his back against it as sat on the floor, knees bent. Darren mirrored him.

"Sorry for that outburst," Chris muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Why? Why are you so scared of letting me see you? I've kind of seen all there is to see, and I'm still here, aren't I? Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Chris swallowed uncomfortably. "It means a lot. Probably too much."

Darren put a hand on his knee. "Well, you probably mean too much to me too," he admitted, leaning over slowly and kissing Chris tenderly.

Chris yielded to him, and somehow their bodies shifted until Darren was on top of Chris, who was clutching at him desperately.

"Wait," Darren said, breath ragged. "There's still too much to say."

Chris moaned miserably. "I know. Can't we just…" He rolled his hips up into Darren's and they gasped into each other's mouths as their lips met again.

Darren groaned. "Don't tempt me." He rolled off of Chris and lay beside him, chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. He brought his hands up and ran them through his short curls. He sat up and looked down at Chris. "Why are you so afraid of falling for me? You said you already were, and you know I already am. Why do you keep trying to push me away?"

"Because I'm crazy," Chris answered. "I'm neurotic and inexperienced and complicated. I'm a guy, and you're totally straight. You're going to wake up one day and realize that you belong with a woman and you'll crush my soul when you leave."

"Even if you were crazy and even though this whole situation is complicated you're still wonderful to me. I'm still here, and I still want to be with you. And I know you're a guy, Chris. That's kind of why I'm so attracted to you. So if you want to stop holding the fact that you're the first guy I've ever found myself falling in love with against me, that'd be great. Yeah, I still think boobs are really nice and distracting, but I don't see how that makes what I feel for you less legitimate."

Chris sat up and looked into Darren's eyes for a long moment, searching them for any hint of deception or uncertainty. "Okay," he said. "I'm sorry for…doubting you."

Darren relaxed a little. "This isn't going to be easy, but if you're still in, then so am I."

Chris blinked. "I don't understand why you're still here. I put you through a lot this week. I'm being so goddamned difficult, and I'm weird, and—"

"Enough," Darren said softly. "You're not weird. If you're weird, then I'm weird. We're being weird together, remember? So don't do that to yourself anymore. You are what you are, and I like it. And yes, you are really, really stubborn. But that's just you."

Chris smiled weakly at him. "Why are you so flawless?"

Darren snorted. "You clearly have a selective memory. Whatever happened to being mad at me for 'kind of a thing'?"

"Oh right, "Chris said dully.

"So I thought about it, and…we spend a lot of time together, we have sex, we fight and have heart to hearts about it, and we're going to have make up sex really soon, so…we're at least dating, right? That seems like a good place to start."

Dating.

They were dating.

"We're dating," Chris said aloud, testing it out loud. It sounded magnificent. "Okay. I'm in."

"Okay?" Darren inquired, a smile curving his lips. "You sound surprised."

"Just surprised at how nice it sounded, that's all. I've never dated anyone before."

"Well, hopefully I won't screw it up too much," Darren said, rubbing his hands together nervously.

Chris smiled. "You're really cute when you're nervous."

Darren smiled back and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Chris asked.

"Bedroom," Darren called as he made his way down the hall.

Chris has walked this path a million times, from living room to bed room, walked it to have sex with Darren, but somehow, it's more exciting, because now they're dating. The word sends another thrill through him. It's freeing, in a way. He can give more because he knows what he's receiving is meant to mean as much as does to him. They aren't fooling around, they aren't friends with benefits. They aren't 'kind of a thing.' They're dating. Officially.

Chris held that word to his heart as he moved to lay on the bed and let Darren have his deliciously wicked way with him.

Darren smiled softly as he curled a hand around Chris's wrist to stop him. "We're going to do things a little differently tonight. I want you to have your way with me. You have some serious skills that are being put to waste."

Chris's throat went dry. "I don't…I like what you do, Darren . I love everything you do to me." He didn't want to be in control of all of it. It was so much easier to surrender to Darren's hands and mouth, to come undone beneath him than to have to do all of the thinking himself.

Darren grinned. "Well, not that that's not nice to hear, but, hey, didn't you think that maybe I want to be at your mercy sometimes, too?"

"Actually, no," Chris replied, a little bewildered.

Darren spread himself across Chris's bed. "Have your way with me, Colfer. Free reign. Unless you want to try a Cleveland steamroller on me or something. I don't think I' m quite that adventurous."

Chris barked out a laugh, remembering the day Darren had showed him the ridiculous urban dictionary link Joey had sent him. "Oh my God Darren, why would you even say that?"

Darren grinned. "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Now get down here and ravish me."

Chris giggled as he climbed onto the bed. "You're ridiculous."

Darren just waggled his eyebrows and pulled Chris down on top of him.

"You know you love it."

Yeah. He thought. I kind of do love you already.

He couldn't say that now because he didn't know if he'd thought it because he meant it or because he was particularly emotionally vulnerable tonight. He tried his best to tell Darren how he felt as he undressed him slowly, worshipping him with his hands and mouth. He made a thorough exploration of Darren's body, noting the spots that made him gasp or squirm. He wrapped a hand around Darren's cock, watching his face intently as he stroked.

At first his expression was peaceful and sweet. His eyes drifted closed as the initial pleasure of being touched washed over him. As the feeling intensified, and his cock hardened, Darren's lips parted and he licked his lips. Chris loved his lips—they were lush and full and pink, and he couldn't stop himself from leaning over and kissing them a few times.

Small, breathy noises escaped him when Chris gripped him a little tighter and swiped his thumb over the sensitive head of his cock. Chris could tell Darren was close when his eyes crinkled and his hips rose off the bed to meet Chris's strokes.

"Fuck, "Darren murmured. He gave a gasping cry as his mouth fell open, his back arched and he came all over Chris's hand.

Chris squeezed gently and went to the bathroom for a towel. He wiped his hand off and went back to the bed to swipe at Darren's stomach.

"Jesus," Darren breathed. "That was…awesome."

Chris smiled, then squeaked as Darren reversed their positions and pressed him into the bed.

"Now it's time for me to return the favor."

Darren kissed his way hurriedly down Chris's body and had him gasping and shuddering into his mouth a few minutes later. Touching Darren had turned him on so much that it had only taken a few moments of Darren's hot, wet mouth around his cock to make him fall apart.

Darren slithered up Chris' body and snuggled in beside him.

"Set an alarm," Chris said sleepily against Darren's chest.

"That means I have to get up and get one of our phones," Darren pointed out.

"Well, I came last, so you owe me one," Chris offered.

"Those two things are completely unrelated."

"So?"

"Come on, Chris," Darren whined. "I'm the guest. You should be a good host and go get yours."

"Don't wanna," Chris replied. "I'll reward you for it in the morning if you do it."

Darren's breath hitched. "How?"

Chris smiled. "Presents are always better when you're surprised. If you really want to know, then you'll get your ass up and go find a phone." And, knowing that he'd won, Chris disentangled himself and got under the covers. He settled in for a good night's sleep, and said no more.

Darren groaned and dragged himself out of bed. It took him a bit of effort, but he found Chris's phone, set an alarm, and plugged it into the charger. He turned off all the lights in the apartment and crawled in next to Chris a few minutes later, running his feet down Chris's calves.

Chris shivered and rolled away. "Your feet are cold," he complained, not even opening his eyes.

"S'what you get" Darren grumbled. "for making me go get it."

"See if I wake you up with a blowjob in the morning," Chris huffed, although he snuggled back into Darren's embrace.

Darren chuckled low in his throat, ignored the threat and fell asleep promptly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chris kept his word, and Darren woke up to a hot wet mouth around his dick and beautiful blue grey eyes staring up at his. When he realized what was happening, he came almost instantly, and wanted to do so again when Chris swallowed his come instead of pulling away and finishing him off with his hand like he had the last time he'd sucked Darren off.

"Time for a shower," Chris murmured huskily, licking his lips as he went into the bathroom and turned the water on.

Surprisingly, they'd managed to stay on task while in the shower, only staring each other down as hot water slid over their gloriously naked bodies. They couldn't resist making out against the bathroom wall.

"How much time do we have?" Darren whispered against Chris's lips.

Chris looked at the tiny clock he kept on the counter. "An hour."

"Wanna play a game?"

Chris laughed awkwardly. "Uhm…coming from you….I don't know if I should say yes. But we're both naked and I feel like that's an important part of this game so…yes."

Darren wrapped his hands around Chris's waist, stretching upward to rest his chin on his shoulder. "Look at you," he instructed.

Chris eyes flicked to the mirror, resting on the enticing shadow of stubble gracing Darren's jaw.

"No," Darren breathed. "Don't look at me. This is about you. Tell me what you see."

"Me?" Chris said jokingly. "You're shorter than me."

Darren snorted a laugh. "You're not going to be cooperative, are you?"

"I don't know what you want, "Chris said plaintively.

"I want you to feel the way about you that I do. But if I can't get that…I'd settle for some cooperation," he said, nipping at Chris's shoulder. His mouth was hot and wet on the clean dampness of his skin.

Chris shivered. "Alright. I'll try. Couldn't you…give me an example, or something? What do you see?"

"What I see when I look at you…you drive me crazy. You are so fucking hot. Even with clothes on…shit, I'm always wanting to rip them off. And…fuck. You're…naked right now and It's all I can do to stop myself from just…" Darren trailed off, and Chris could feel both of their cocks hardening.

Chris blushed. "You're way hotter than I am," was all he could say.

Darren shrugged. "Thanks. I don't really think we can be compared. I enjoy my body, and love that you do too, but I enjoy yours a lot more." He ran his hands down Chris's stomach, and he shivered.

"You're gorgeous. I could look at you all day. Your skin is so smooth, and don't hate me for this, but it's so…pale, and…creamy."

Chris laughed loudly, and it echoed off of the tile. "Creamy? Really, Darren?"

He blushed a little. "I can see why the writers had Sue nickname you 'Porcelain.' It really, really works."

"I'm the palest pale who ever paled. How is that attractive?"

"Maybe I can't explain how, but all I can tell you is that it is. I look at your skin and I'm entranced. I fucking love everything about the way that you look." He let his hands slide down to Chris's hipbones stroking them softly as Chris shuddered into the touch. He kept one there, and the other glided around to cup the rapidly growing bulge in Chris's pants.

"I know the fact that I enjoy you turns you on," he said, voice low and scratchy. "But somehow, that doesn't change the way you feel. Why not?"

Chris swallowed. "Well, the fact that something so…insignificant makes you like that makes me feel…powerful, in a strange way."

Darren kissed the side of Chris's neck. "God," he whispered against Chris's skin. "You have so much power over me. You could have me wrapped around your little finger if you could just see how fucking hot you are. I know you do sometimes. You knew what the fuck you were doing when you put on those heels and draped yourself on the couch for me. Why is it so hard for you to see it now?"

Chris watch the blush spread across his face as he felt the heat rise. He couldn't look at himself anymore and turned his face away. "It's the clothes, you know? It was different then."

"You really think that's the only reason I'm attracted to you, don't you? Even after everything I've said."

Chris didn't say anything.

"Well, you're wrong." Darren pressed his cock into the curve of Chris's ass. "What the hell do you think that's about? It's not because I'm imaging you in heels—it's because I'm looking at you, right now, as you are."

Chris met Darren's eyes in the mirror, and knew that he meant it.

"Yeah, it's hot as hell when I take off your pants and you're wearing lacy underwear beneath them. I've seen a lot of guys in girls' clothing, not just as a joke or a Halloween costumes, guys who looked damn good in dresses and heels, and frilly underwear, but none of them ever affected them the way you affect me."

Chris latched on to the most unimportant thing in the sentence. "What were you doing in college Darren?"

He smiled in memory, but shrugged. "Hey, my friends and I have been to clubs of all kinds and I've seen pretty much everything there is to see. The point I'm trying to make is that I love all those things because it's you wearing them, not that I like you because you're wearing those things."

"Oh," Chris breathed, and for the first time, even if only for a moment, he believed it. He was completely blown away, and honestly, he'd never heard anything better in his life. If he has, it was probably some other completely wonderful thing that Darren said to him. "Darren."

Chris turned to face him, wrapping his arms around his neck. "You're going to make me fall completely and totally in love with you if you don't stop saying things like that."

Darren nuzzled his face into Chris's neck. "This sounds familiar…but really, what would be so wrong with that? We're dating, aren't we?"

Chris felt his heart tightening in his chest. He didn't want to lie, and the truth might ruin the tremulous peace they'd brokered. Instead answering him, he bent his head and kissed Darren hard, letting him believe that that was Chris's answer instead of the one floating in his head.

'Everything' Chris told himself. Everything was wrong with this, even after everything Darren had said to him last night. People say pretty things when they're emotionally raw and feeling forgiving. But if it was wrong, why did it feel so damn good? He shoved the thought aside as Darren wrapped a hand around Chris's straining cock. Chris leaned against Darren and shut his eyes. Darren stopped immediately.

"I want you to watch, Chris."

He made a small noise of protest.

"You look good, I promise. Open your eyes."

Chris peeled them open, and was a little surprised by his reflection. A tall, lean but muscled man stood in front of him. Arousal painted his ivory skin with a pink flush that made him look like he was glowing. His eyes were intense and dark, almost like sapphires. His hair was wet and tousled from where Darren had buried his hands in it earlier. Chris followed the hard lines of his muscles, slight but defined until they ran into his cock. Darren's hands were moving up and down it. He looked…hot.

"You're captivating," Darren said, nipping at Chris's shoulder.

Chris had to agree. "Yeah. I guess I am."

He felt Darren's lips curve into a smile against his skin. "Touch yourself."

"What?"

"I want to watch you. And I want you to see yourself." Darren gave his cock one last squeeze before letting it go.

Chris wanted to argue, but he was too close to coming to think about things like being overly self conscious. He brought his hand down and stroked himself—an all too familiar sensation. Darren's hands were rubbing slow, soft circles into his hips as Darren ground his cock into Chris's ass.

Chris opened his eyes and stared into them in the mirror as he brought himself closer and closer to the edge.

"I wanna fuck you so bad," Darren whispered.

"Fuck," Chris breathed. He hadn't been thinking about it until then, but fuck , he wanted that too. Darren would be…sweet, and kind and gentle, but passionate and hot and jesus Christ…

"Say it again," Chris begged. "Your voice…so hot…"

Darren chucked against Chris's skin. "You like the idea of me fucking you? You're not as sweet as everyone thinks, are you? You might be inexperienced, but it doesn't make you innocent, does it? You want me to press you down and slide my cock inside of you until we both come, don't you? Fuck, Chris…you're so hot, so desperate for it…"

Darren batted Chris's hands away and he whined pitifully at the loss of contact.

"Mmm, don't worry baby I'm gonna take care of you," Darren murmured as he replaced Chris's hands with his own. "I love touching you," he breathed. "You're fucking gorgeous, no matter what you are or aren't wearing, fuck, are you close, I want you to come all over my hands…"

Chris groaned, his head fell back onto Darren's shoulder and he squeezed his eyes shut as his orgasm washed over him, leaving him breathless.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Darren…God…why would you…Jesus…I can't even breathe right now."

"Imagine what you'll be like after I fuck you…I meant it… I want to. "

"Tonight?"

Darren's eyes met his in the mirror, and they were still for a moment. "Okay. If you want to. I can…wait. What we're doing is fine."

Chris smiled softly, then laughed a little. " Who are you, Blaine? I want to—I've wanted you to for a while."

Darren groaned. "Watching you come…and then hearing you say that…damn it, Chris, I'm hard again."

Chris shrugged. "You're just going to have to suffer—we're going to be late if we don't hurry up. It's bad enough that we come in together every morning. Can you imagine the kind of nonsense Lea and Ashley will say if we're late?"

Darren groaned miserably, but knew that Chris was right.

Chris kissed him quickly and walked into the bedroom, looking for something to wear. He went to the 'wrong' drawer, and pulled out a pair of red satin panties.

"Do you want me to wear these today?"

Darren's jaw dropped. He'd never actually considered being able to pick before.

Chris pulled out another pair, made of some sort of flimsy, see-through purple material. "Or what about these?"

Darren tried to find words, but he couldn't. His brain had literally short circuited. This was inhumane. Darren was already hard from watching Chris come and the promise of getting to fuck him later, and now Chris was being such a goddamn tease. T

"Well, if you can't decide," Chris said, smirking, "maybe I won't wear any at all."

"Such a tease," Darren murmured. "No, no…wear the purple ones…I can't wait to take them off of you later tonight."

Chris winked and stepped into them. Fuck, his ass looked amazing in them, and Darren wanted to say "fuck it" to work and having sex later tonight—they should just do it now. He'd had enough character bleed for one morning and didn't want to put up with Chris being so smug.

He watched dumbly as Chris went to the closet and pulled out a pair of jeans. He stepped into them and pulled a t-shirt on over his head.

"We're going to be late if you don't hurry up," he reminded a still bewildered (and naked) Darren before going to the kitchen to see about some coffee and breakfast.

Darren shook his head and grabbed the spare clothes he kept at Chris's place and changed into them quickly. Chris was going to be the death of him. He was sure of it. All day he'd be thinking of Chris's ass in those fucking purple sheer panties and it was going to drive him mad.

It was going to be a long day.

"I had a lovely time tonight, Blaine," Chris said, fluttering his eyelashes coyly at Darren, a small smile playing at his lips. They were facing each other, staring at each other adoringly.

"I'm glad you did," Darren replied, "Me too." His eyes flickered to the slightly open curtains, which rustled slightly as they closed. He leaned in a little, but only squeezed Chris's shoulder, a tight, sad smile on his face.

"See you tomorrow," Chris all but whispered. "Text me when you get home?"

"Okay," Darren breathed. They stared at each other a moment, then Chris turned and stared at the curtains.

"I think he's gone," he murmured, then put his hand on Darren's shoulder, bent his head and kissed him softly on the lips.

Darren gasped, Chris deepened the kiss, and he leaned into it, tongue stealing into Chris's mouth.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"Finally!" he shouted, clapping wildly as Darren and Chris struggled to break away from one another. "That was great, guys!"

Still dazed, Darren and Chris could only nod and smile.

They walked back to wardrobe in comfortable silence. Each man was lost in thought. Darren felt like melted ice cream, sweet and drippy, like he could fall down anywhere and just be happy. Chris had felt the tenderness in the kiss and while he wanted to bask in the warm beautiful glow of it, it scared him.

Darren really had feelings for him. And those feelings were getting deeper. He felt it in the kiss.

He'd said he'd believed Darren, and yeah, he kind of did, but that kiss? Wow. Legitimate fireworks. It was all tenderness and emotion. It was like Darren was trying to pull his heart out and Chris was letting him. It was a weird feeling that he perhaps didn't mind, for all that it scared the shit out of him. They were dating…and Darren was right—falling in love was potentially a part of that. He'd never been in this deep before, and tonight, things were really going to change. They'd been doing things for a few weeks but…Chris had never…actually…done that. And he knew Darren was going to make it so emotional and special, for all that he was practically burning up with lust. His body was more than ready to go further, but his heart? He wasn't sure, and he wasn't sure of how he'd be sure if he was sure at all. It was really a lot more complicated than they'd have you believe on TV and in the movies.

They changed back into their street gear and headed towards Chris's trailer. It was kind of their standard hang out place. Plus it was a hell of a lot closer to the set than Darren's trailer.

Darren nudged Chris's shoulder with his. "You're awfully quiet," he teased.

Chris smiled. "So are you. I'm just…thinking."

"About the kiss?"

He nodded. "Yeah. It was…" Chris laughed. "Well it was pretty fucking awesome is what it was."

"Knock it off, you two!" Lea said, squirming her way in-between them. "Quit making googly eyes in the hallway…we have a photo shoot to get to!"

They froze.

"Shit," Darren swore under his breath.

"A what?" Chris said dumbly.

"The couples of Glee photo shoot for Entertainment Weekly? Don't tell me you forgot," she admonished. A devilish grin spread over her face as they continued staring at her. "The makeup sex was that mind blowing?"

Chris blushed. "I hate you, Lea."

"You love me and you know it. Besides, if you don't love me, I won't give you a ride."

"What makes you think we need one?" Chris asked, arms crossed.

She grinned. "Because I know neither of you know where it is."

Darren laughed. "You drive a hard bargain."

She arched an eyebrow. "I have my ways."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Fine. I adore you. You're just the greatest."

"I'm not convinced of your sincerity but…fine."

They followed her out to her car, smiling at each other over her head as she pushed them for the details of their reconciliation (she didn't get many).


	5. Chapter 5

" _I wanna fuck you so bad."_

It had seemed like such a perfect idea that morning, with Darren's body pressed up against his as Chris came down from the high of orgasm. But now, now that it was hours later and he was thinking about all the reasons he hadn't had sex up until this point, well, it was kind of terrifying.

What he'd learned since he'd started fooling around with Darren was that sex, whatever it encompassed, was a hell of a lot more complicated than giving and receiving pleasure. It was about bodies, and yet so much more. There were times, times like this morning, when he felt like what he was doing with Darren was changing him right down to his very soul, and it was  _terrifying._ God, and hadn't he already decided before the photoshoot that he was calm and at peace with everything? Why did he have to over analyze everything to the point of destruction? He needed to find a way to fix what was happening in his brain—he didn't want to ruin this before it even began.

Chris sighed heavily, and then was jolted out of his neurotic thoughts by a sudden lurching in his stomach.

"Annnnd we're back!" Lea all but screamed as she slammed on the brakes and parked her car (poorly).

Chris winced. "I can see that," he said dryly as he stepped out of the car. He walked quietly behind Lea and Darren as they talked about whatever it is that short, dark haired, overly energetic people had to talk about, and dove back into his mind, his resolution to stop overthinking the situation ignored for the moment.

What would it mean if Chris had sex with Darren tonight? Would it change anything at all? Would he feel different? Of course, he knew that what they'd been doing for the past month or so counted as sex (well, honestly, he'd only really known that after an awkward session with Yahoo!answers), but…what Darren had proposed, what Chris had been secretly wishing for on the nights he didn't have Darren to distract him was something else.  _Fucking._ Or, rather, he privately hoped,  _making love_ , was something else entirely, right?

Or maybe it was just his innocent sort-of-virgin showing and fucking was just another way to feel incredible amounts of pleasure. Chris frowned. Something about that didn't sit right with him—sex like that was romantic, or at least, it could be. He wanted it to be. But did Darren? Darren had probably fucked plenty of people (Starkid had to be just as incestuous as other theatre groups), and maybe it didn't mean as much anymore. The frown on Chris's face deepened. Maybe that would be true for someone else, but it didn't seem to fit with Darren, not at all. Darren was the kind of person who did whatever he did as honestly and fully as possible. Chris hated admitting that, because acknowledging it meant his doubts about Darren's sincerity about having a relationship with him were neither, as Darren might say, organic nor warranted. Chris smiled to himself as he thought about Darren's endearingly hipster-esque catchphrase. The smile widened as he thought of how Darren was sure to make tonight really special, because Darren was just that kind of guy. When it came down to it, the only thing that was really making Chris anxious was this: how could he be sure that he was sure about this? The worst thing would be for Chris to do  _this_ with Darren and then wake up and realize that he'd been horribly wrong about everything and—

Chris let out a little noise as he found himself pressed against a wall. "Darren?"

"Hey." Darren was incredibly close it was  _very_ distracting. Chris was trying to have thoughts and it was hard when he was so close he could count Darren's eyelashes or kiss him or touch him and…

"Can we talk?" Darren murmured.

Chris's stomach leapt into his throat. "About what?" he breathed, his voice coming out even higher than usual.

Darren smiled. "Calm down, you. No one died and I'm not trying to break up with you. I just want to talk about…this morning."

Chris's stomach, which had been on its way back into his abdominal cavity, leapt upwards again. "Oh?" His lips trembled around the word and he  _hated_ it.

Darren rolled his eyes and slipped an arm around Chris's shoulder. He looked around—everyone looked busy—bent down and pressed a kiss to Chris's cheek. "You are so neurotic," he said fondly.

Chris stiffened in his arms. God, he knew that, why would Darren—

"But I think it's really cute. Look, I'm still down for what we talked about but…I mean, I would feel a lot better if we  _really_ talked about it first. And I want to do it now because if we don't do it before tonight, well, I might be a little distracted."

Chris's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Distracted?"

He felt Darren smile against the curve of his ear and shivered. "By you, silly. Didn't this morning teach you anything? Working with you is so hard now because I just want to press you against the nearest surface and kiss the shit out of you and while that's not really new, now I know you'd let me if I did and it drives me  _insane_."

Chris's face went bright red. His heart, which had been racing due to anxiety, starting pounding for a different reason entirely. "Oh," he said, his voice small, because he didn't know what else to say.

"So can we talk?" Darren prompted, and Chris realized he must have been staring off into the distance.

Chris swallowed thickly. "Yeah. But we can't now because I have a meeting with Zach and Ryan in the dance studio."

Darren stepped back. "Cool. What for?"

Chris shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, just…something I want to try on the show, maybe. It's kind of crazy but…so was me using sai swords last season."

Darren grinned. "That was so badass, man."

"Thanks," Chris said lightly. "You could…come if you want?"

"Sure," Darren said as they walked towards the studio. "What are you showing them, anwyway?"

Chris grinned. "It's a surprise. You can all be surprised together. I've been working on it for months, and…well, given Kurt's audition for West Side Story, I don't think it'll be too shocking for him to be doing <i> _this </i>_ next."

*****

 

Chris thought that his meeting had gone very well. Ryan and Zach had been very impressed by what he could do, and teased him about his issues to find newer and crazier forms of controlled danger. Ryan had said he'd bring it up with Ian and Brad later and they'd see if they could work Chris's new skill into a musical number. The only part of the session in the dance studio that hadn't gone well was Darren's reaction. He'd just stared at Chris the whole time with the oddest expression on his face and then practically run off when it was over.

His phone buzzed.

_Meet me in my trailer. Now._

Chris's eyebrows shot up. He typed in a reply.  _Excuse me?_

_Please. Hurry._

Chris wondered if everything was okay. He quickened his pace, reaching Darren's trailer in record time. Chris rapped on the door lightly. "Darren? It's me."

"Come in," Darren called his voice muffled.

Chris opened the door. "Are you—"

But his sentence was cut off by the sight the greeted his eyes. Chris gulped. " _Fuck_ ," he whispered, too shocked to think or feel or be anything else but—

"Fuck," he repeated. "Just…fuck."

"Shut the door," Darren panted. "Lock it. And come here."

 

*****

 

Darren had been picturing Chris doing backflips or something bendy and impressive and relatively normal, but he should have known better, because Chris Colfer didn't do relatively normal.

He'd been confused when they'd walked into the dance studio and two large ribbons of blue fabric was hanging from the ceiling.

"What on earth is this?" he'd asked.

Chris had smiled and said, "Aerial silks."

Darren stared at him in confusion. "What?"

Chris rolled his eyes as he tucked his tshirt into his jeans and tightened his belt. "You know, like in <i> _Cirque du Soliel_? </i>"

" _What_?" Chris was kidding, right?

Chris beamed at him as he bent over to stretch his long legs. "I've been training for a while, actually. It's…well, it's a lot of fun. "

"You're kidding me." Darren meant it in two ways. First, he was surprised that someone as neurotic and obsessive as Chris could do something as crazy as trust his life to a glorified ribbon hanging on a hook from the ceiling , and secondly, he had to know that bending over like that in front of Darren was only going to turn him on.

Chris shook his head, coloring slightly. "Is there something wrong?" he asked uneasily as he noticed that Darren's eyes were all but glued to his ass.

Darren cleared his throat. "No. Just, where do you find the time, man?"

Chris shrugged. "I just like to find new ways to challenge myself." And with that, he slowly allowed his feet to slide apart until he was doing the motherfucking  _splits_ and bending his torso over until his hands were resting flat on the floor. He wiggled his body into the stretch and let out a little gasp as he tried to push his legs further apart, to force himself a little lower to the ground.

Embarrassingly, Darren groaned.

"Hmmm?" Chris hummed, looking up at Darren innocently and making him feel like an utter pervert. Chris was just warming up and all Darren could think was of how  _flexible_ Chris was and all of the <i> _things </i> _Darren could do to him. He was about to let Chris know just what he wanted to do to him, but then Zach and Ryan arrived. It took every ounce of willpower to smile at them instead of growl and kick them out so he could make out with his boyfriend who was apparently inhumanly flexible.

Chris said hello to Ryan and Zach, then sat up, sliding his legs together out in front of him. "Just let me finish warming up." He lay down on his back, drew his knees up and placed his arms behind his head, bent at the elbows, before arching up into a perfect backbend, muscles straining appealingly as he bent himself further and further in half.

Darren's mouth went dry.

Chris lowered his body to the ground slowly, and smiled brightly at all of them as he said words couldn't hear because all the blood in his body was pouring into his cock right now and he was so turned on it _hurt._ He'd thought that he'd calm down when Chris began his little performance, but…no, not at all.

The performance had done nothing but made it worse.

After turning on some classical music Darren knew he should have recognized but couldn't name because he was having a heart attack inside, Chris sprayed something on his hands, then walked to the hanging strips of fabric, gripped them tightly in his hands and had begun to climb up, dizzyingly high, with nothing but the strength of his arms, which were already beginning to bulge against the fabric of his tight T-shirt.

He started off simple, climbing and twisting, hanging upside down and swinging a little and laughing and having a good time. He was impressive and graceful to watch as he arched and stretched into different poses, all of which seemed very complicated and difficult. Darren had to admire his form—even though he knew nothing about this art, it was obvious that Chris was pretty good at it. He was so strong, so flexible, so  _beautiful_ , and it was blowing Darren's mind.

Chris moved and it was hard to see what he was doing until he was upside down and hanging by one of thighs, bent tight around one of the pieces of silk as he twisted more and more, obviously wrapping more of the fabric around his body, because it was getting shorter and shorter. Chris spread his arms and legs wide, parallel to the fabric and they all gasped as Chris began to let himself drop, spread legs making him look like a bit like a pinwheel, and it almost seemed like he was spinning down because of gravity because he was going so fast now and was he getting too close to the ground? Darren didn't breathe for a moment, but then Chris bent his legs and stopped himself, hanging upside down for a moment before bringing himself back upright and sliding down to the ground and unwrapping himself. He looked at them all, beaming and glowing, breathing heavily and  _fuck._ Darren wanted Chris like this, flushed and panting and bright eyed, and he wanted him  _now._ But Ryan and Zach were here and he couldn't kiss Chris in front of them, and he sure as hell couldn't stay in a room with Chris when he looked that good.

Darren mumbled something, he didn't know what, and fled to his trailer because <i> _dear God </i> _he was turned on right now and he was trying to be sweet and understanding because he needed to  _talk_ to Chris, not dream about fucking him in crazy positions and he just needed to get some release before he exploded.

So he'd slammed his trailer door behind him and sunk onto the little couch, jerked his pants down and taken his cock in hand. God, it felt so much better but it wasn't as good without Chris's blue eyes staring into his and so he fished his phone out of his pocket with his unoccupied hand and fired off a text message. Clearly, it sounded rude, because Chris had seemed to be mildly offended by what he'd said, and so on the next try, Darren had just tried to make it clear that he needed Chris, needed him now because Chris was always blowing his mind and he just, Darren just  _needed_ him.

And then Chris was here, knocking on the door and Chris was so close to being with him and Darren was  _close_.

"Shut the door," he gasped, hand squeezing harder on his aching cock. "Lock it. And come here."

****

" _Fuck,"_ Chris whispered for the millionth time as he followed instructions and hurried over to Darren, hot and hard and stroking himself impossibly fast.

"Please," Darren whined, and Chris wasn't sure what Darren wanted from him. "Need you," Darren groaned. Heat coursed through Chris's belly and for once, without thinking, he sank to his knees, batting Darren's hands away so he could sink his mouth down over Darren's cock. It didn't take long before Darren was tugging on Chris's hair.

He pulled off for a moment. "No. I want…just let me," he rasped, pinning Darren's wrists to the couch and  _sucking_ until Darren was gasping Chris's name. Everything was Darren—the smell of him, earthy and primal, the taste of his come branding the inside of Chris's mouth, the feel of Darren's body arching up into him, the sound of his moans echoing loudly in Chris' ears. Everything was Darren—everything was perfect.

" _God."_ Darren's voice was hoarse as he sank against the cushions of the old couch and breathed in heavily. Chris sat back on his heels, feeling satisfied at having made Darren come, but needing his own release as well.

"Get up here," Darren all but growled, pinning Chris to the couch under him and attacking his neck with hot mouth and nipping teeth as his hands unbuttoned Chris's jeans, stroking and squeezing until Chris was shuddering beneath him, eyes squeezed shut as he came with a sharp cry that he was sure could be heard outside.

Chris lamented the loss of Darren's warmth as he went for a washcloth to clean them up. Bleary eyed and fuzzy, Chris sat up, knees curling up against his chest as stared at Darren dreamily.


	6. Chapter 6

    

"So," Chris said once they'd dozed lazily in each other's arms for a bit, "You said you wanted to talk?"

  


Darren choked out a laugh. "Yeah. Right. Uhm….I know you overthink pretty much everything and I also know that tonight, if anything even happens tonight, is a pretty big deal for you."

  


Chris felt his throat closing up. "It's not….not a big deal to you?"

  


 

"No!" Darren said quickly.

 

Chris couldn't help himself—he gasped and hoped he turned away quick enough to hide the stricken expression he was sure his face was wearing. Darren was saying things, but Chris couldn't hear them over the loud echo of "No" in his brain. He felt Darren's hands on his face, turning it so that they were looking each other in the eye.

 

" _Chris_ ," he said desperately. "Do you really have that little faith in me?"

 

The heartbreak in Darren's eyes told Chris everything he needed to know. He'd heard one word and jumped to conclusions and let his mind take him crazy places. He placed his hand over Darren's and kissed the inside of his hand. "I'm sorry. It's not you I don't believe in, it's me. You're so amazing and I'm not and I guess I'm just waiting for you to see that." Chris looked straight into Darren's eyes— _fuck_ they were mesmerizing- and felt his heart squeeze. "You could literally have anyone you wanted." The question of  _so why pick me?_ didn't need to be said aloud.

 

Darren sighed heavily. "Well good. Cause the only person I want is you. You're the most amazing, unique person I have ever met. So…let me have you?"

 

Chris looked hard into his eyes. They were unwavering in their sincerity. "Alright," he said shakily.

 

Darren's thumb smoothed over his cheek. "I just need you to trust me. I need you to be comfortable, so I can be comfortable." A smile played at the corner of Darren's mouth as he repeated one of Blaine's lines from last season.

 

Chris snorted. "Really? If that's the case, then you matter," Chris teased.

 

They both laughed a little, then paused. Chris leaned in to kiss Darren, stopping just before their lips met. "But you do," Chris whispered, his breath ghosting over Darren's lips. Darren groaned and surged forward, kissing Chris hard.

 

They broke apart, breathing loud and harsh as they struggled to catch their breath. "So do you. So much. I'm so freaking in love with you."

 

Chris forgot to breathe. "Wow." Then he realized how  _wrong_  a thing that was to say and tried to splutter out something better.

 

"Shhh," Darren soothed. "I know you are, too. With me. You wouldn't be so damn scared if you weren't."

 

"I'm not scared," Chris replied shakily, convincing neither of them.

 

Darren was still for a moment. "Yeah you are. I swear I'm not gonna hurt you. I fucking swear."

 

"I know you mean that." Chris said firmly.

 

"But you don't believe it."

 

Chris wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. "Not yet. But I still want to…want you to come over."

 

"Oh? Want me to come over for what?" Darren teased, shifting modes so quickly Chris blinked.

 

Chris flushed. "Uhm. Sex."

 

Darren lay a hand over his chest in mock affront. "Why, Christopher! I am  _wounded_. My hot sexy body is the  _only_  thing you're interested in?" he asked dramatically, fluttering his long eyelashes at Chris in a way that was utterly distracting.

 

The blush deepened. "Not the only thing, but…I want you. Want to be close to you."

 

"Mmmmm, me too." He wrapped Chris up in a warm, sweet hug. "There's a lot of ways we can do that, you know. It's not all, you 

know, cocks inside of assholes."

 

"Darren!" Chris' face grew impossibly redder.

 

"What?"

 

"I dunno…just…don't you have something to do besides scandalizing me?" He lowered his eyes.

 

Darren pulled out his phone and pretended to type out a text to his personal assistant. "So, how about I send this to Sandra?" he turned the screen to face Chris, and Chris nearly knocked their heads together in an attempt to get the phone away from 

Darren.

 

The text had read " _Hey Sandra. Could you resend me this week's shooting schedule? Chris wants to know if I have more things to do than tell him what I wanna do to that perfect ass of his tonight."_

 

******

 

"I could kiss you forever," Chris murmured against Darren's lips later that night.

 

"Mmm," Darren hummed by way of reply. "But I have…other ideas. Take your clothes off for me?"

 

Chris's stomach jumped— _this is it_ —and scrambled to comply, smiling shyly at Darren when Darren groans as the purple sheer panties they'd picked out this morning hit the floor. Chris wants this—Darren on top of him, thrusting, hard and slick into Chris's body, and he wants it now. "H-how do you want me?" he asked.

 

"Hmm?" Darren was searching in the bedside table for lube and didn't quite hear Chris's question.

 

"I said," Chris repeated, his voice a little louder, "How do you want to do this?"

 

"Do what?"

 

Chris blushed. "You know. What you talked about this morning. Sex. I want you…inside of me."

 

Darren's eyes slid shut. "Don't tempt me, Chris." His voice was low and dangerous and the sound of it caused shivers to run down his spine.

 

Chris blinked, his eyes wide with confusion. "Then what are you…" he waved a hand awkwardly at the bottle of lube.

 

"I told you, Chris. Sex is more than cocks and assholes. I uhm, did my research."

 

Chris's eyebrow arched. "Please tell me you did not do a Google search on gay sex."

 

Darren's cheeks pinked a little. "It was very informative."

 

They stare at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.

 

"So, how do you want me, oh, internet sex god?" Chris teased.

 

Darren snorted. "On your stomach. "

 

Chris turned over, wiggling around a bit to settle in, trying not to notice how good his cock feels rubbing against the cool silk of the sheets. He felt the heat of Darren's body above him and sighed as it covered him completely and Darren lips were kissing at the back of his neck.

 

"You're fucking gorgeous," Darren whispered against his skin.

 

The warmth left, and Chris turned his head to see where Darren had gone. He was sitting up now, and fumbling with something out of Chris' view. He gave a little jump when he heard the click of the bottle of lube. Darren poured a few drops over his finger and Chris let out an undignified squeal when he felt it, cold and slick against his hole, which clenched without his permission. Darren rubbed slow, light circles around the rim, teasing Chris without mercy. He pressed his thumb against Chris's entrance, like he was going to fight the resistance and slide it in, but he never did. It drove Chris insane. Even when Chris pressed his body backwards, Darren wouldn't increase that pressure, wouldn't go inside and it was killing him.

 

"Nnngh," Chris whimpered. "More,  _more,"_ he begged, shocked at how deep his voice had gone as he rutted against the sheets.

 

"Lift up a little," Darren muttered, his hand moving away, helping maneuver Chris where he wanted him. In the end, Chris's face was resting on his elbows, and he was up on his knees just a little, his ass still relatively low to the bed. The lube bottle opened again and Darren was clearly putting it on his cock, if the breathy little grunt was anything to go by.

 

"What are you…I thought…" Chris managed to say.

 

It's not that he didn't want Darren inside of him…he did, it was just that Darren had said he wasn't gonna do that. Had he changed his mind in the course of the last fifteen minutes?

 

"I'm not, I just…trust me? I promise I'm not, but, it's supposed to feel really, really good, and I…trust me?"

 

Chris exhaled hard, his own breath heating his face. "Alright," he said shakily. "What…what do I need to do?"

 

"Spread your legs just a little, the tiniest, tiniest bit, okay?"

 

Chris complied, and a thrill shot through him when he felt Darren's cock, so hot it felt like it was burning, slip between his thighs.

 

"Close them now, but, not too tight, okay? I need room to…to move."

 

Chris did as he was told, and Darren began to slowly slide in and out of the tight space made by Chris's thighs.

 

" _Fuck,"_ Darren growled. "You look so fucking hot…god, your  _ass_ , you have the best ass, Chris."

 

Chris laughed, high and breathy. "Thanks, I gue— _fuck, oh my god, **Darren**."_

 

"Not laughing anymore, are you, Colfer?" Darren said smugly as he squeezed harder around Chris's straining erection.

 

"N-no, p-please, fuck,  _don't stop, don't stop,"_ he begged as Darren pulled away and flipped them over.

 

"Wanna see your face when you come," Darren said by way of explanation. He settled down over Chris and thrust down against him, their cocks creating the most delicious friction as they moved against one another.

 

"O-okay, fuck,  _hurry,_ I need….I need…"

 

"What, Chris? What do you need?"

 

Chris bit his lip and looked away.

 

Darren almost couldn't, but he forced himself to stop moving, his face a tight grimace of careful control as Chris continued to rut up against him. "Tell me," he ordered.

 

Chris's chest was heaving. "Darren…" he pleaded, his voice a broken whisper. " _Darren."_

 

Darren wanted to give in, but…they needed this, Chris needed to be able to  _say_ what he wanted, it was heartbreaking that he 

felt he couldn't. He was starting to question his own methods—he was dying to come, and this was a  _horrible_ time to be trying to talk. But he'd started—he'd see it through.

 

"Tell me, Chris. Tell me what you need, what you want, and I swear I'll give it you."

 

Chris let out a little whimper, and Darren was scared he'd taken it all too far, scared until he heard Chris's barely audible whisper. "Your mouth, fuck, I need...your mouth on me."

 

And it hadn't been what he planned, but yeah,  _yeah_ Darren was more than okay with that. He slid down Chris's body without another word, pressed his thighs into the bed and took Chris into his mouth, sucking and licking. No slow build up this time—he wanted Chris' come in his mouth and he wanted it  _now_. Chris was straining and bucking underneath him, his hands fisted tightly in Darren's curls as his mouth spewed out curses and guttural moans that went straight to Darren's cock.

 

" _Fuck,"_ Chris all but screamed as he thrust up hard and hot, salty come was flooding Darren's mouth. Darren swallowed it all as best as he could, then pulled away, breathing hard and licking at the little bit that trickled out from the corners of his lips.

 

"Oh  _god,"_ Chris said shakily. "Darren.  _Fuck._ Come here, I want…I want to…I want you to come, too."

 

"Me too," Darren said, flipping over onto his back, his body tight and positively humming with excitement as Chris settled between his legs and licked a long slow stripe up his cock, toying around the head, his tongue pushing against the slit at the top.

 

"Chris," he begged. "Please, don't tease, I need to come  _so bad."_

 

Chris 'mmm-ed' around Darren's cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure through him.

 

Chris pulled off, stroking Darren's wet cock as he spoke to him. "That's great and all, but, I've got your cock in my mouth. I'm 

the one calling the shots."

 

Yeah, he was. Darren had somehow entirely lost control of this situation. It seemed as though Chris had decided that if he was going to own what he wanted, then he was going to do it all the way. Daren _loved_ it, minus the part where he was desperate to come and Chris was being a tease.

 

"Chris," he whimpered again, his voice embarrassingly desperate and shaking with need.

 

Chris grinned up at him, bright eyes glinting as he sucked the head of Darren's cock into his mouth and squeezed at his balls. 

 

He wasn't going to last much longer, and he told Chris so.

 

Chris pulled away. "Do you…want to come on my face?"

 

All the air rushed out of Darren's lungs and he nearly came then from the thought alone. " _Yes."_

 

Chris stroked him, kneaded his balls until Darren was straining and he was up on his elbows, looking down at Chris' face. Chris' gorgeous fucking face that he was going to come all over, and then Chris smiled and it was happening—he was coming in hot white ropes over Chris's face.

 

Darren shuddered at the sight of Chris, normally so clean and innocent and shy, licking at the come sliding over his lips. He wished he was capable of coming again.

 

" _Fuck,"_ Darren groaned, his head hitting the bed hard. He felt Chris get up, and the sound of the faucet running. Chris returned with a clean face and a shy smile.

 

"So…that was good for you?"

 

Darren laughed. "Are you kidding?  _Yes._ You were…you were so shy and then you  _weren't,_ and god, I don't get how the guy who just let me come all over his face and the one who's blushing to his toes right now are the same one, but I don't need to understand everything. I'm in love with both of them." He turned his head, and Chris was smiling up at him from where he'd cuddled into Darren's arms.

 

"Yeah, well, they're in love with you, too. And sorry they ever doubted you."

 

"Are you schizophrenic or something?"

 

" _Shut up,"_ Chris groaned. "You're the one who started with the whole dual personality thing—you cant tease me for continuing  _your_ line of thought."

 

"Uh…Your logic is flawed," Darren insisted

 

"Uhm…how?"

 

"Because I want to win."

 

"That's  _so_ mature," Darren. " _So_  mature."

 

They laugh and all is silent for a few moments.

 

"Anyway, going back to what we were talking about before, I totally get that this is hard for you. Letting go and opening up, I mean. Take all the time you need."

Chris tilted his head up for a kiss, and they didn't come up for air until they were thrusting against each other, hard and aching again. It didn't take long before they were coming again, hot and hard on each other's stomachs. Chris wanted to get up and go get something to clean them off with, but being wrapped up tight in Darren's arms is the most perfect way he could think of to fall asleep. The dried come will be kind of gross in the morning, but that means they get to shower together. The thought of where that might lead to made Chris fall asleep with a dreamy little smile on his face.  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for what has to be the world's longest wait! <3

Chris fisted his hands in Darren’s hair, breathing hard into his mouth as they kissed. “Darren...oh...,” he groaned as they ground their hips together. “Please...”  
  
Darren cupped the back of Chris neck, fingers tangling in the short hairs there. “What, Chris?”   
  
“I...I want you, please...”   
  
“You have me,” Darren mouthed against his neck. “I’m all yours.”   
  
Chris groaned in frustration. “Darren, no, no, I want...” He pulled back, looking deep into the warm honey eyes that always made his heart melt. “Fuck me.”   
  
A moan rippled out of his Darren’s chest. “Oh, fuck, Chris, you can’t just say things like that.”   
  
“I think I just did,” Chris said, smiling a little. “Come on,” he whispered, bringing his thighs up around Darren’s hips and pulling him close. “I know you want to,” he urged, bucking up and feeling Darren’s cock hard against his own.   
  
“Yes...but...I want to do this right with you, Chris.”   
  
Chris fell down into the couch cushions. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he growled. “I just...God, I want you, you want me, we love each other, we trust each other...what else do you need?”   
  
“Don’t...don’t try to change my mind about this,” Darren whispered, rolling off of Chris and sitting up.   
  
Chris retreated to the opposite side of the couch, sitting up and hugging  his knees. “I’m sorry,  I just....I need to feel you. I want you inside of me, I want to be inside of you...fuck.”   
  
Chris totally respected the fact that Darren wanted to take things slow. It was sweet--romantic even, but...he couldn’t take it anymore. The fact of the matter was that they were both attractive men who were in love with one another and sexually involved. It was only natural that, when they were both ready, they should take that final step. Chris knew this was how Darren felt--he just didn’t know how to convince Darren that he was ready.  
  
“Chris, don’t look at me like that. Don’t you know I want the same thing? You just...you deserve more.”   
  
“I don’t care about what  I deserve! I just want you.”   
  
“I want you too, you know I do. I just want it to be special.”   
  
Chris looked up at him hard. “And it will be, because it’s with you,” he whispered.   
  
“I don’t want it to be....random, unplanned, quick and dirty on the couch. I want to give you a night to remember, something amazing.”   
  
“I hate you,” Chris murmured, sinking back into the couch.   
  
“Nuh-uh,” Darren said smiling, crawling over to him and kissing sweetly. “Just because I’m not gonna fuck you tonight doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good,” he whispered hotly. Darren kissed down Chris’s chest as he reached for his belt buckle.   
  
Later, when Chris came, moaning as Darren swallowed around him eagerly ; it was wonderful.  
  
But he wanted more.  
  


____________________________

  
This had to work. Chris had done a bit of discreet shopping, culminating in him sitting on the edge of his bathtub with smoothly shaven legs and foamy white cream spread across his pubic hair.  
  
Nervously, he dragged the razor across the top of his hair and then again, over again until he was done. Then he was  spreading lotion all over his now hairless body, and sliding into his bathrobe.   
  
Darren was coming for dinner, and now that the prep work was done, he had to actually make dinner. It was simple--a salad, lasagna (homemade thank you very much), garlic bread and ice cream for dessert (two pints of Ben and Jerry’s because they could never agree on one flavor). Once the lasagna was safely in the oven, he padded back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.  
  
This next part was a little new, but...Chris was sure Darren would appreciate it. Either way, it couldn’t hurt.  Chris strode to the mirror, and carefully lined his bottom eyelids in white, blinking furiously as he tried not to stab himself in the eye. He swiped the slightest layer of shimmering pearly silver-white eyeshadow over his lids, then coated his eyelashes to make them even longer. He finished with a coat of shiny red lip gloss and rubbed his lips together.   
  
Chris smiled to himself as he sprayed himself with perfume and stepped into the short, pale blue [dress](http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/winsome-smiles-dress) he’d picked out earlier. His favorite thing about it were the straps that tied into cute little [bows](http://maxcdn.fooyoh.com/files/attach/images/598/535/484/TS%20for%20KM%20-Tie%20Shoulder%20Lurex%20Dress%2040%202.jpg) at the shoulders. He smoothed the ruffles over the front of the dress and spun in a circle, humming in approval at the way it lifted just enough to give a sneak peak at his white lace [panties](http://www.modcloth.com/shop/intimates/beauty-and-lace-undies-in-white).   
  
He walked into the bedroom and slipped into the creamy colored t-strap[ heels](http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shoes-heels/back-to-square-fun-heel-in-white) and surveyed himself in the mirror.   
  
Wow.  
  
He looked...  
  
Darren was gonna lose it.   
  
Chris smiled.  
  


____________________________

  
  
“Holy fucking shit, Chris,” Darren breathed when Chris opened the door.   
  
Chris smiled, and god he was wearing red lip gloss and he wanted nothing more than to see those red lips wrapped around his cock. “Aren’t you going to come in?”   
  
Darren closed his mouth and stepped inside.   
  
“Shoes off by the door, sweetheart. Do you want a glass of wine?”   
  
Darren gaped at him. “Uh...God, yeah, I think I need one.”   
  
Chris chuckled low in his throat and it sent hot shivers down his spine. “You need one? Did you have a hard day?”   
  
Darren grinned. Fine, Chris was out to fluster him with a mind-blowingly sexy outfit and cherry red lips, but maybe now he had a chance to turn the tables. “It wasn’t hard until now, Chris. If you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows for effect.   
  
Chris’s eyes lit up and he laughed, turning away and gripping the edge of the sofa for support. He bent over a little to do so, and Darren caught a flash of white peeking out from under that indecently short blue dress. He was behind Chris in a flash, sliding his hands up Chris’s thighs.   
  
“What are you wearing?” he rasped, lifting the dress and groaning as the sheer white panties came into view. “Fuck, and Chris....did you shave your legs?”   
  
“Uh, yeah. But...dinner,” Chris gasped out as Darren’s fingers hit the bottom edge of the panties. “It’s all from scratch and it’s not going to waste just because you find me unbearably attractive in a dress.”   
  
“That I do,” Darren muttered. “Now where’s that wine?”   
  
Chris led him into the kitchen, sat him down and poured them both glasses. They talked about nothing and everything while they waited for the lasagna to finish and as they sat down to dinner.   
  
“Amazing,” Darren groaned as he tucked into his second plate of lasagna.   
  
“Why thank you, Mr. Criss,” Chris said coyly. “Do you want the ice cream now or later? And before you say anything, I got two kinds. I know how picky you are.”   
  
“I’m just going to ignore that last sentence. But...later. I’m stuffed. What’s next on the agenda, Mr. Colfer?”   
  
“Well,” Chris murmured, “I was kind of hoping we could watch a movie.” He bit his lip and looked over at Darren appealingly.   
  
Darren gulped. Usually “watching a movie” was code for watching ten minutes of a movie and making out until they’d missed enough of it to make watching it not worth it. Which usually meant blowjobs. “Uh...yeah. That’s...yes.”   
  
Chris smirked at him across the table and stood. “Well. You go pick a movie and I’ll put the food up. Kay?”   
  
“Okay,” Darren agreed, standing. Chris picked up the lasagna dish covered it with foil and bent down to slide it in the fridge. Darren had totally intended to go in the living room to pick out a movie to “watch” but when Chris bent over, he saw those damned white panties again. And again when he put the salad away.   
  
Fuck the movie.  
  
He stalked back across the kitchen.   
  
“Darren what are you--oh!” Chris squeaked as Darren lifted him onto the counter and sealed their lips together.   
  


____________________________

  
  
Chris’s legs shot up around Darren’s waist, holding him there as Darren kissed him hard. He gasped when he felt Darren’s hands sliding up his legs where they were wrapped around him.   
  
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Darren whispered against Chris’s skin as he cupped his cock through the sheer panties. “So hot.”   
  
Chris arched up, clinging to Darren’s neck and mewling with pleasure. “Please, Darren...”   
  
“Fuck...I want...”   
  
Chris’s heart surged hopefully. “Please,” he pleaded. “I...” he swallowed hard, pulling back so he could look into Darren’s eyes. “I want you so bad.”   
  
Darren’s eyes slid shut and Chris watched his throat work as he swallowed. “Yes. Okay. But...not like this. You look amazing--I’d love nothing more than to bend you over the counter and fuck you till you scream, but....”   
  
“But what?” Chris stamped down his rising panic and waited.  
  
“I want your first time to just be us. Just you as you are.”   
  
“But that’ll take forever,” Chris pouted. “I’ll have to shower and--”   
  
“Well, it’s not like I can’t entertain myself while you’re in there. And I’m definitely not going to lose interest over twenty minutes. Trust me.”  
  
Chris bit his lip. “Okay.” He smiled, but the smile slid off his face as he squeaked when Darren picked him up.   
  
“Put me down!” Chris shrieked as he clung on tightly.   
  
“Nuh-uh, this is way too much fun!” Darren teased. “Not to mention that i love the way you’re clinging to me. Totally hot.”   
  
“Darren...” Chris whined. “Put me down!”   
  
“You totally love this, Colfer, don’t even lie to me.”   
  
“Okay fine, Darren, I love the way you manhandle me, you big strong man.” He rolled his eyes and smiled when Darren giggled. “Now put me the fuck down!”   
  
Darren stopped in the hallway and let Chris slide down his body.The dress slid up his body, bunching around his waist. “Go turn the shower on, and don’t you dare take any part of this off. I want to undress you myself.”   
  
Chris gulped and walked to the bathroom on shaky legs, turning the water on and meeting Darren at the door.  
  
“Shoes first,” he whispered, sitting on the bathroom counter and lifting his legs for Darren to grab. One foot rested against his thigh as Darren unbuckled the white heel and let it fall to the floor. He undid the other and grabbed one of Chris’s feet, caressing it softly.   
  
Chris squirmed, even as heat pooled in his belly. “I’m...sensitive there.”   
  
Darren grinned devilishly. “You mean...you’re ticklish.”   
  
“Don’t you dare!” Chris shrieked in panic.   
  
“I won’t,” Darren assured him, pulling Chris off the counter  and turning him around. “Not today at least.”   
  
Chris stared into the mirror, mesmerized as he watched Darren pull the bows apart at his shoulders with his teeth, shuddering when he felt teeth and lips grazing at his skin. The dress slipped down a little, and Darren slid down the zipper, fingers pressing along Chris’s spine as the dress pooled at their feet in a soft blue heap.  
  
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Darren panted against his neck. “Want you so bad.”   
  
“We don’t have to go through all this...we could just do it now,” Chris said, blushing.   
  
“Nuh-uh,” Darren mumbled. “I meant what I said--I want to do this just us. I don’t want you to look back and wonder if it was just because you look smoking hot in a dress and heels and I couldn’t keep my fucking hands off of you.”   
  
“Doesn’t seem like you can keep your hands off me,” Chris teased, trying not to show how much Darren’s words had made his heart melt.   
  
“It’s a challenge, I won’t lie,” Darren agreed. “But doing this right for you is worth it. Now let’s get those panties off.”   
  
The way Darren said that was so gleefully dirty, and his accompanying smile was positively lecherous. Chris couldn’t help but feel a little shy as Darren hooked his thumbs into the waistband of the sheer white panties and slid them down for Chris to kick away.   
  
“Oh my God,” Darren breathed, taking in Chris’s smooth skin.  
  
“You like it?” Chris breathed, his insides clenching anxiously.   
  
Darren sank to his knees nuzzling his face into the smooth skin above Chris’s half hard cock. He whimpered as Darren kissed the soft skin of his pubic bone. “God yeah. You’re so soft,” he whispered.   
  
Chris petted Darren’s hair lovingly. “Good…‘cause...that took a shit ton of effort. If you’re done nuzzling me, I’ve got a shower to take.”  
  
Darren nodded, pressing  one last kiss below Chris’s belly button. “Of course, love.”  Darren bent to grab the dress, panties and shoes, then was out of the room with a grin. “Don’t make me wait too long.”   
  


____________________________

  
  
Darren put the dress and shoes away, and stripped his own clothes off. He lay himself carefully on the bed, smirking when he thought of how surprised Chris would be when he came out and saw Darren spread out naked on the bed for him.  
  
He wasn’t disappointed. Chris gasped, so shocked that he jumped and didn’t realize that his towel was falling until it was a tangle at his feet. He moved as though to grab it, but Darren’s soft laugh and quirked eyebrow stopped him.   
  
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before. Come here…”   
  
Chris stepped over the towel and crawled onto the bed, laying down on his side, propped up on an elbow and facing Darren. Darren let his eyes wander lazily over the soft, still wet skin, his eyes lingering on the pink flush creeping over Chris’s chest. Darren smiled as their eyes met, and reached out for Chris, pulling him close and kissing his lips softly. He rained kisses down over Chris’s chest, smiling when Chris twitched and gasped beneath him.   
  
“Turn over,” Darren murmured, crawling up the bed to grab the lube from its familiar spot in the bedside table. Unlike usual, however, he pulled out a strip of condoms as well, depositing it all on the bed next to Chris’s lovely upturned ass.   
  
“That’s a lot of condoms,” Chris teased as Darren slid down between his legs.   
  
“Yeah, well, maybe I plan on wearing you out tonight.”   
  
Chris spread his legs a little in invitation. “You’re welcome to try.”  
  
Darren could see the barest hint of a smile at the corner of Chris’s mouth and kissed the base of his spine. “I don’t try, I succeed.”   
  
Chris huffed and it was obvious from his tone that he was rolling his eyes. “Shut up and fuck me already.”   
  
“Only if you shut up and spread your legs.”   
  
“What happened to sweet, romantic and special?” Chris teased as he drew his legs apart wider.   
  
“Oh right,” Darren murmured, kissing down the back of Chris’s thighs.  
  
“Wh-what are you doing?” Chris stuttered as Darren nudged his legs wider apart and ran his hands up over the globes of Chris’s ass, splaying him wide open for Darren’s eyes. Darren groaned low in his throat when the tight pucker of Chris’s hole clenched down in response to the cool air of the room.  
  
“Trust me,” Darren breathed, leaning in and running the flat of his tongue up and down slowly Chris’s crack.   
  
“I do—oh fuuuccckkk,” Chris moaned as Darren sped up, spreading Chris wider to give him better access.  Darren held on tight, gripping Chris’s body harder as Chris began to rut desperately into the bed.   
  
Chris’s cries of “More, more,” went straight to Darren’s cock as he pulled away. Chris whined in protest and  Darren appeased him with a thumb circling around his hole as he dripped lube down over his thumb, spreading it around Chris’s hole.   
  
“Darren, please,” Chris begged. “Stop teasing me.”   
  
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Darren said seriously, coating his middle finger and pressing it against Chris until his body gave and the tip of his finger slid in. Chris was hot and tight, so tight, and smooth and Darren was even more eager to be inside of him.   
  
Chris let out a little moan as Darren pressed the rest of his finger in and Darren’s stomach clenched. “Is this…are you okay?”   
  
“Oh my god, yes, just, another one, okay? It’s not like I’ve never…I have a dildo, okay? You’re not gonna break me.”   
  
Darren gasped at the thought of Chris, sliding a dildo in and out of his ass, face hot and flushed as he moaned wantonly. “Let me see it.”   
  
Chris hips stuttered. “Uh…fuckkkk,”he moaned as Darren’s slowly moving fingers pressed into him just right, “Fine, it’s, in that drawer.”   
  
Darren bent to kiss the bottom of Chris’s spine. “Back in a second, baby.” Up and quickly, to the drawer that started it all, Darren wrenched it open, sinking his hands into the soft satin panties, feeling the rough scratch of lace against his knuckles until his fingers clasped around something hard and plastic. He dug it out and blinked.   
  
“Holy shit, Chris, it’s kind of big,” he breathed before he could stop himself.   
  
Chris laughed. “I’m sure you’ll still be able to satisfy me.”   
  
Darren snorted. “Not what I was worried about, babe.” He walked back to the bed and climbed on. “Can I....” He slid a hand down the curve of Chris’s ass.   
  
“Yeah. And uhm, just so you know, it vibrates.”   
  
“Hmm,” Darren hummed, noticing the buttons on the side and clicking one of them.  He jumped in surprise at just how strong the vibrations were. He’d never done all that much anal play, but...he was definitely going to see what he could do about getting Chris to use this on him some day. He turned the vibrator off and covered two of his fingers with lube. Taking Chris’s directions from earlier, he was less careful and scared as he pushed inside. Chris’s body clenched around his fingers, so hot, so tight and smooth. Darren thrust his fingers in and out and tried to move them apart to stretch Chris out, but...wow....it turned out that all his secret internet readings about anal sex were wrong in one respect. Scissoring your fingers in someone’s ass? Not gonna happen. Who in the hell had the people who wrote these guides been having sex with??  
  
Chris was rutting down into the bed, moaning deliciously. “Put it in me,” he gasped.   
  
Darren wasn’t going to turn down an invitation like that.  He jerked his fingers out quickly, whispering an apology as Chris murmured in discontent at the emptiness and spread a liberal amount of lube on the dildo. One hand pushed Chris’s cheeks apart as the other pressed the tip of the toy to Chris’s hole.   
  
Chris wriggled impatiently. “Come on, Darren.”   
  
Darren pressed forward, stopping when Chris groaned.   
  
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop!” Chris begged.   
  
Wow. Chris begging really did things to Darren. He pushed the toy inside, then started a slow rhythm, watching fascinated as Chris’s body sucked it in.   
  
“Fuck, you take it so good,” Darren whispered, awed.   
  
Chris grunted and pushed back. “Turn it on.”   
  
Darren flicked one of the buttons and his eyes widened in surprise at the intensity of Chris’s reactions to the vibrations inside of him. Chris was practically humping the bed as Darren fucked him with the toy, getting harder and harder by the minute. This was hot, amazingly hot, but he wanted to be inside of Chris, so, so bad.   
  
“Darren.” Chris panted, “Please...I..I want you so bad.”   
  
“Okay,” Darren agreed. It wasn’t the most eloquent response, but Chris wasn’t his usual eloquent self either--he probably wasn’t expected much in the way of witty conversation right now. In fact, Darren was pretty sure  that Chris only expected one thing of him at this moment--to get his cock inside of him and to be quick about it.   
  
“Can you just...turn over? I want to see your face while we do this.” Chris turned over so fast Darren blinked, then shook his head as he covered himself in condom and a lube. One hand on the base of his cock to line himself up at Chris’s hole, the other bracing himself above Chris’s body.  
  
“Just...do it,” Chris breathed, pushing out and wriggling desperately.   
  
Darren fell down to his elbows, body covering Chris’s, skin to skin as he shifted his hips forward and oh God, he was inside of Chris, so tight and hot and the sounds Chris was making were amazing as Darren sunk inside of him, so deep and perfect and fuck why had he denied them this for so long? Somehow his mouth had gotten to Chris’s neck and Darren was sucking hard as Chris moaned and writhed beneath him.   
  
Chris tangled a hair in Darren’s curls and yanked him up for a kiss. Darren never stopped the undulation of his hips as they moved together, breathing into each other’s mouths more than they were really properly kissing.   
  
“I want, I want you to come, please, just...,” Darren slid a hand between their bodies and wrapped a hand around Chris’s cock, pumping hard and fast as he thrust deep into his ass.   
  
The noise Chris made was so hot Darren thought it should have been illegal. He wasn’t gonna last long at this pace, with Chris under him looking so hot and filthy and debauched.   
  
“Darren, Darren, Darren,” Chris breathed, getting louder, hotter, more desperate as Darren fucked him into the mattress.   
  
“I love you all desperate like this,” Darren whispered, kissing along Chris’s jaw before pulling up to look into his stunningly bright blue eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”   
  
Chris gasped and arched. “Oh God!” he cried out before he came, clenching down hard on Darren’s aching cock. It was too much to take--the way Chris was bucking underneath him and moaning and grasping at Darren’s shoulders--the little dig of pain made Darren fall down further onto Chris’s body as he came hot and hard and so good in Chris’s tight ass.   
  
When he came down, Chris was rubbing gently down his back and shoulders. “Darren, that was...”   
  
“I know,” Darren groaned, pulling out and pulling off the condom, tying it off and padding quickly into the bathroom to throw it out. When he got back, Chris was staring at the ceiling with a beatific smile on his face. He turned to face Darren and his eyes widened in shock.  
  
“What’s wrong?”   
  
Chris clapped a hand over his mouth. “You’re bleeding!”   
  
Darren’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion, before he felt it, blood, hot and wet on his shoulder. He turned his head and smiled when he saw them, little half moon indents from Chris’s nails. He shrugged. “It’s okay. Kind of...hot actually.”   
  
Chris, who had jumped up and gone to the bathroom for a wet towel looked surprised at this. He dabbed at the little cuts. “You’re not mad?”   
  
“Nah,” Darren said. “I’ll only be mad if you don’t cuddle with me after.”   
  
Chris smiled and pulled Darren down onto bed with him. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be mad at me,” he said, smiling fondly.   
  
Darren nuzzled into Chris’s neck. “You can pretend you don’t love it just as much, if not more, than I do if it helps you sleep at night.”   
  
Chris smiled and pulled Darren a little closer. “Thank you so much,” he whispered.   
  
“I can’t say I’ve ever been thanked for sex, but I can’t blame you--I’m kind of a beast in the sack,” Darren said smugly.  
  
Chris pinched his side, smirking when Darren jumped in surprise. “You are such a conceited little thing. You know what I mean. I never thought...I’m just so glad it was you.”   
  
Darren wiggled out of Chris’s arms and turned so that they were face to face. “I”m glad. This whole time, everything...I just wanted to take care of you, Chris. I’m...really happy if you’re happy.” He kissed Chris’s cheek. “I love you.”   
  
Chris’s chest tightened. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took SO long! Thank you all for reading! <3

_Darren kissed Chris’s cheek. “I love you.”_  
  
 _Chris’s chest tightened._  
  
_______  
  
“You...do?” Chris breathed.  
  
Darren nodded. “So much, Chris. So much.”  
  
“I...”  
  
“It’s okay,” Darren mumbled. “You don’t have to say it back now.”  
  
Chris swallowed loudly. “I know,” he whispered. “But...” he ran his thumbs down over Darren’s face, awed at how open and soft it was. “I do. I love you, too,” he said finally.  
  
Darren smiled. “I knew you did.” They kissed, lazy and slow until Darren broke away with a yawn. “Well,” he said smiling, “I’m exhausted. Plus we have that fucking brunch tomorrow at Lea’s.”  
  
Chris groaned miserably. “I _totally_ forgot. Fuckkkkkk. Can’t we skip it?” he pleaded, nuzzling at Darren’s neck and humming happily as Darren giggled.  
  
“Stop that! I’m ticklish!!”  
  
“Oh? You shouldn’t have told me that,” Chris warned, grinning devilishly and running his hands threateningly along Darren’s sides.  
  
“No!” Darren all but yelled, thrashing wildly underneath Chris.  
  
“I’m barely even touching you,” Chris mused. “But...you’re in luck tonight because I’m exhausted. Getting fucked does that to you.”  
  
“You should try fucking somebody.” Darren said, grinning. “That’s hard!” he added in a perfect imitation of Sue Sylvester.  
  
Chris laughed so hard he snorted. “I can’t believe you just did a Jane impression while we’re naked.”  
  
Darren nuzzled him. “You know, she’d probably want to know about it.”  
  
Chris sat up instantly. “Darren! You had better _not_.”  
  
“Oh?” Darren propped himself up on one elbow. “And what would be so bad about her knowing?”  
  
Chris rose his eyebrows. “Are you seriously asking me what would be wrong with telling one of the people I look up to most in the world that we talked about her post coitus??”  
  
Darren laughed a little. “Okay, point taken. But. What about...me and you? I mean...are we going to keep this a secret?”  
  
Chris sighed heavily, drawing his knees up and hugging them close. “You know we have to,” he said tiredly.  
  
“Why?”  
  
Chris looked at him sharply. “You know why. You told everyone you were straight. The press would come down on you so hard. And then...well, you know what they’d say about me--somehow it would be my fault for seducing you or something. It just...it wouldn't be a good PR situation. Your PR and management teams would have a fit and so would mine. Not to mention that Ryan would not be pleased with that kind of attention being placed on the show when there’s already so much touchy press focused on us as it is.”  
  
Darren fell back onto the bed, huffing a little and turning his back to Chris. “I want to be annoyed with you for even thinking about all of that, but you’re right so I know I don’t have the right to be.”  
  
“Hey....,” Chris slid over, twining his arms around Darren’s torso. “It’s not like some of our friends don’t know. Like Lea, and Ashley. And we’re known for being touchy feely/really good friends so...it’s not like you have to do much more than refrain from making out with me in public. You still get to grope me from time to time. And hey, maybe they’ll think we portray Kurt and Blaine’s passion better now--we’ll be...improving as actors.”  
  
Darren snorted. “Yeah, yeah. It’ll have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we’re fucking off screen.”  
  
“Mhm,” Chris agreed, yawning. “We’re just both so talented.”  
  
_________  
  
“So...what the hell did you and Darren do last night?” Amber demanded as she, Chris, Darren, Jenna, and Dianna sipped mimosas around Lea’s cozy kitchen table the next morning.  
  
Chris’s mouth dropped open, and Darren choked on his drink. “I beg your pardon?” Chris asked at the same time Darren said “What makes you think we did anything last night?”  
  
Lea groaned quietly next to him and Chris had the distinct feeling that she’d just muttered “Morons,” but chose to ignore that.  
  
“Uhm...,” Darren tried again. “Weird question?”  
  
Jenna shook her head, narrowing her eyes at them. “It so isn’t. You keep looking at each other and smiling, either there’s an epic story from this weekend or you’re dating.”  
  
Again, Darren choked on his drink, and Chris sighed heavily. Lea coughed delicately, and Chris shot her a look out of the corner of his eye. Everyone was staring at them.  
  
“Chris...,” Darren murmured, voice unnecessarily quiet since everyone was clearly listening to them. “I think...we should...tell them.”  
  
“Tell us what?” Cory asked, walking back in from the kitchen with an extra large glass of milk. He plopped down in between Lea and Dianna, taking a long drag from the glass. “What did I miss, you’re all being awkward and silent?”  
  
“Darren and Chris are being _weird_ ,” Amber said suspiciously.  
  
Diana hummed thoughtfully. “If it was just some crazy thing they got up to this weekend...they’d be climbing over themselves to embarrass the other person. So...spill the beans.”  
  
Chris reddened. “I, uhm....we didn’t go out this weekend. There’s no stories to tell. So...,” He looked up, meeting Darren’s eyes across the table. He heard someone, he wasn’t sure who, inhale sharply, but focused on Darren, because that was the only thing keeping him from freaking out right now.  
  
Darren laughed a little, and the sound made Chris relax a little. “Well, I wouldn’t say there’s no stories to tell,” he winked and Chris knew he was thinking about the red satin panties Chris was wearing under his jeans. “But yeah. Me and Chris. That’s a thing,” he said lightly.  
  
Chris groaned. “Wow, you are so eloquent--god only knows how you got me to fall in--” He trailed off, remembering all of a sudden that he’d just shared his second best kept secret with his group of friends all at once.  
  
Amber and Cory looked surprised, Lea was suddenly very interested in her pancakes and Diana was just grinning. Jenna looked pretty put out.  “I knew it,” Diana said triumphantly.  
  
“What?” Chris asked, shocked out of his momentary internal panic.  
  
“You two suck at being discreet,” she said teasingly, then turned to direct her next statement at Jenna. “Looks like you owe me a hundred bucks, doll face.”  
  
“You bet on it?” Chris asked incredulously. A loud snort across the table made him look up and he stared Darren down. “You think this is funny?”  
  
Darren nodded eyes sparkling. “Yeah, I do. And you’re cute when you’re indignant.”  
  
Chris felt himself melting, a small smile tilting at his lips.  
  
Diana groaned. “As happy as I am for you guys, I can’t handle this much syrupy sweetness in the morning.”  
  
“Seconded,” Jenna agreed. “There’s enough sugar on my pancakes,” she teased.  
  
Chris flushed and his heart leapt when Darren leaned across the table, crowding his space. “Darren, what are you--oomph!” His question was cut off by Darren’s lips on his, hot and urgent, making him forget where he was for a moment, a small moan escaping him as his fingers clenched at the edge of the table and he kissed back.  
  
“Whoa,” Amber breathed, sounding impressed, as Cory groaned into his glass of milk. “Not on table, guys!” he demanded. “I eat here on a regular basis!”  
  
Lea just smiled and took another sip of her mimosa. “It’s my house, and I’m completely content to watch hot guys make out across my table during breakfast.”  
  
Darren pulled away, smirking at the gobsmacked expression on Chris’s face. He turned to the rest of the group and stuck his tongue out. “Now are we sickly sweet?” he asked.  
  
There was a snort from someone, then the whole table burst out into laughter.  
  
“So everyone’s...okay?” Chris asked once the laughter had calmed down.  
  
There were nods, some more enthusiastic than others, but Chris felt something loosening in him--he had Darren and his friends were supportive. He let himself soak up the acceptance, then took a deep breath.   
  
“I’m glad,” he said. “But there’s just one thing. We...this needs to stay a secret for now. I know the rest of the cast will find out eventually, and Ryan is going to flip when word gets back to him...but the media? They don’t need to know.”  
  
They all nodded sympathetically.  “Of course. We know how crazy the media circus is. But you know you can’t keep it a secret forever, right?” Diana said, her voice full of concern.  
  
They knew, but they’d try as long as they could, because what they had was worth the headache of protecting it. **  
**


End file.
